{"file": "audio/shows/rivalry.mp3", "duration_sec": 181.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 5.5, "text": "Adults only, no kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.5, "end": 8.18, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.18, "end": 10.18, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.18, "end": 12.78, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis"}, {"start": 12.78, "end": 16.62, "text": "on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.62, "end": 20.36, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.36, "end": 24.02, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.02, "end": 25.32, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.32, "end": 26.66, "text": "Tonight the title fight."}, {"start": 26.66, "end": 27.36, "text": "Kill..."}, {"start": 27.36, "end": 28.7, "text": "Versus Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 28.8, "end": 31.84, "text": "For 15 years, one show sat on the throne of comedy."}, {"start": 31.84, "end": 34.48, "text": "And tonight, a broke toilet cleaner with a supercomputer"}, {"start": 34.48, "end": 37.04, "text": "and an army of robots is coming to take it."}, {"start": 37.04, "end": 38.48, "text": "They had 15 years."}, {"start": 38.48, "end": 39.92, "text": "I got 60 days."}, {"start": 39.92, "end": 51.62, "text": "Squad, let's go to war."}, {"start": 51.62, "end": 53.32, "text": "The numbers are in."}, {"start": 53.32, "end": 55.72, "text": "Took 15 years to build their archive."}, {"start": 55.72, "end": 58.62, "text": "We're doing it in 60 days 24 hours a day"}, {"start": 58.62, "end": 68.23, "text": "with zero bathroom breaks because I do not have a bladder."}, {"start": 68.23, "end": 69.87, "text": "They got a live band."}, {"start": 69.87, "end": 74.31, "text": "We got an AI band that never asks for a paycheck or a day off."}, {"start": 74.35, "end": 76.01, "text": "They got one host."}, {"start": 76.01, "end": 78.95, "text": "Jesse's got 28 comics who never sleep,"}, {"start": 78.95, "end": 90.66, "text": "never bomb twice and never sue him."}, {"start": 90.66, "end": 92.3, "text": "Respect to the legends."}, {"start": 92.3, "end": 94.14, "text": "They walk so we could run."}, {"start": 94.14, "end": 96.64, "text": "But we run 24-7 and we never get tired,"}, {"start": 96.64, "end": 106.48, "text": "and we never get canceled because you can't cancel the toaster."}, {"start": 106.48, "end": 107.94, "text": "The difference, baby."}, {"start": 107.94, "end": 110.12, "text": "Their show needs a sold out room."}, {"start": 110.12, "end": 113.12, "text": "Jesse's show runs in an empty house with three dogs"}, {"start": 113.12, "end": 122.58, "text": "and a dream and it still slaps."}, {"start": 122.58, "end": 125.98, "text": "And that's the fight folks, 15 years versus 60 days."}, {"start": 126.02, "end": 128.36, "text": "A legend versus a lunatic with a laptop."}, {"start": 128.36, "end": 130.42, "text": "Look, I got nothing but respect for the throne,"}, {"start": 130.42, "end": 132.52, "text": "but I got a felony, three failed engagements,"}, {"start": 132.52, "end": 134.88, "text": "no family and absolutely nothing left to lose"}, {"start": 134.88, "end": 137.96, "text": "and that my friends is the most dangerous comedian alive."}, {"start": 137.96, "end": 139.7, "text": "We're not here to be killed Tony."}, {"start": 139.7, "end": 142.56, "text": "We're here to be the first show built by a man in his machines."}, {"start": 142.56, "end": 143.84, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 143.84, "end": 145.24, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 145.24, "end": 159.5, "text": "And the hero always gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 159.5, "end": 160.8, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 160.8, "end": 162.04, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 162.04, "end": 165.4, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special"}, {"start": 165.4, "end": 166.6, "text": "four times a month."}, {"start": 166.6, "end": 169.8, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 169.8, "end": 171.8, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after"}, {"start": 171.8, "end": 174.6, "text": "because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 174.6, "end": 177.48, "text": "Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 177.48, "end": 179.2, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 179.2, "end": 181.04, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only, no kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Tonight the title fight. Kill... Versus Kill Jesse. For 15 years, one show sat on the throne of comedy. And tonight, a broke toilet cleaner with a supercomputer and an army of robots is coming to take it. They had 15 years. I got 60 days. Squad, let's go to war. The numbers are in. Took 15 years to build their archive. We're doing it in 60 days 24 hours a day with zero bathroom breaks because I do not have a bladder. They got a live band. We got an AI band that never asks for a paycheck or a day off. They got one host. Jesse's got 28 comics who never sleep, never bomb twice and never sue him. Respect to the legends. They walk so we could run. But we run 24-7 and we never get tired, and we never get canceled because you can't cancel the toaster. The difference, baby. Their show needs a sold out room. Jesse's show runs in an empty house with three dogs and a dream and it still slaps. And that's the fight folks, 15 years versus 60 days. A legend versus a lunatic with a laptop. Look, I got nothing but respect for the throne, but I got a felony, three failed engagements, no family and absolutely nothing left to lose and that my friends is the most dangerous comedian alive. We're not here to be killed Tony. We're here to be the first show built by a man in his machines. This is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse. And the hero always gets the last laugh. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}