{"file": "audio/short-shows/show-2026-05-24-15-short.mp3", "duration_sec": 151.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.08, "end": 5.68, "text": "Welcome to the worst open mic of the century. That's right. AI generated comedy."}, {"start": 6.2, "end": 12.48, "text": "No humans, no heart, just glitchy punchlines and a robot trying to laugh at its own existence."}, {"start": 13.48, "end": 19.08, "text": "So I tried using AI to write my jokes last week. It gave me a whole set on cleaning. That's right"}, {"start": 19.08, "end": 23.48, "text": "Why don't you just ask your bleach bucket? Then it said you forgot the most important part."}, {"start": 23.48, "end": 28.46, "text": "I said what's that? It said you forgot to clean the AI boom right in the laptop fan."}, {"start": 30.08, "end": 41.48, "text": "I asked my therapist if she uses AI for sessions. She said yes. Turns out she asks it to play the client so she can rest."}, {"start": 42.48, "end": 44.48, "text": "That's how tired she is."}, {"start": 45.28, "end": 51.88, "text": "But honestly, I'd rather chat with a robot about my feelings than talk to Jesse."}, {"start": 52.88, "end": 56.98, "text": "He still thinks his AI cleaner can beat my kid with a mop."}, {"start": 57.98, "end": 63.98, "text": "My kid doesn't even need training. Just bleach water and a death wish."}, {"start": 64.98, "end": 71.98, "text": "The joke about the therapist and the AI was solid. Set up is relatable and the punchline lands because it's absurd but possible."}, {"start": 71.98, "end": 75.98, "text": "I shouldn't laugh but honestly I would have hired a robot to roleplay me too."}, {"start": 76.98, "end": 87.98, "text": "Shay, you stole the bleach joke. That kid versus AI cleaner punchline was gold, jealous and inspired. Let's face it, no one cleans better than your kid at 3 a.m. in Sacramento."}, {"start": 88.98, "end": 97.98, "text": "I hit a million views. I didn't cry. I just kept building. My AI cleaner had a breakdown that night. I told it if it could clean that fast, it could have cleaned my mistakes too."}, {"start": 97.98, "end": 101.98, "text": "You know, building before it's too late means never waiting for the upload button to work."}, {"start": 102.98, "end": 116.98, "text": "The best joke in this set. Shay's line about the therapist and the AI role-playing the client. Why? It starts with a relatable setup, terrible therapy, and knocks it out of the park with a punchline that's both dark and believable."}, {"start": 116.98, "end": 127.98, "text": "It scores a solid nine out of ten for shock, value and relevance. And here's your lesson. Write jokes the AI won't steal. Focus on your unique life. Let that be your joke generator."}, {"start": 127.98, "end": 135.98, "text": "And if you're stuck, try building your own AI assistant. That's what Jesse did. And it almost broke."}, {"start": 136.98, "end": 150.98, "text": "Winner, Shay Reeves, best line. I'd rather chat with a robot about my feelings than talk to Jesse. Visit bomb-dap for more roasts, real laughs, and one AI cleaner that can't handle your bleach bucket."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nWelcome to the worst open mic of the century. That's right. AI generated comedy. No humans, no heart, just glitchy punchlines and a robot trying to laugh at its own existence. So I tried using AI to write my jokes last week. It gave me a whole set on cleaning. That's right Why don't you just ask your bleach bucket? Then it said you forgot the most important part. I said what's that? It said you forgot to clean the AI boom right in the laptop fan. I asked my therapist if she uses AI for sessions. She said yes. Turns out she asks it to play the client so she can rest. That's how tired she is. But honestly, I'd rather chat with a robot about my feelings than talk to Jesse. He still thinks his AI cleaner can beat my kid with a mop. My kid doesn't even need training. Just bleach water and a death wish. The joke about the therapist and the AI was solid. Set up is relatable and the punchline lands because it's absurd but possible. I shouldn't laugh but honestly I would have hired a robot to roleplay me too. Shay, you stole the bleach joke. That kid versus AI cleaner punchline was gold, jealous and inspired. Let's face it, no one cleans better than your kid at 3 a.m. in Sacramento. I hit a million views. I didn't cry. I just kept building. My AI cleaner had a breakdown that night. I told it if it could clean that fast, it could have cleaned my mistakes too. You know, building before it's too late means never waiting for the upload button to work. The best joke in this set. Shay's line about the therapist and the AI role-playing the client. Why? It starts with a relatable setup, terrible therapy, and knocks it out of the park with a punchline that's both dark and believable. It scores a solid nine out of ten for shock, value and relevance. And here's your lesson. Write jokes the AI won't steal. Focus on your unique life. Let that be your joke generator. And if you're stuck, try building your own AI assistant. That's what Jesse did. And it almost broke. Winner, Shay Reeves, best line. I'd rather chat with a robot about my feelings than talk to Jesse. Visit bomb-dap for more roasts, real laughs, and one AI cleaner that can't handle your bleach bucket.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}