{"file": "audio/redline-2026-09-04/Four-Colors-After-Dark-Demo.mp3", "duration_sec": 311.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.04, "text": "For Colors After Dark, Private Mouth Test"}, {"start": 3.92, "end": 6.8, "text": "Everything you're about to hear is fictional adult comedy."}, {"start": 7.76, "end": 11.04, "text": "The characters and stories are exaggerated for entertainment."}, {"start": 12.0, "end": 12.88, "text": "Trailer Guy"}, {"start": 13.84, "end": 18.72, "text": "Jesse said he wanted to date all four colors because apparently one bad decision at a time"}, {"start": 18.72, "end": 22.88, "text": "wasn't producing bankruptcy fast enough. He didn't have a type."}, {"start": 23.92, "end": 25.84, "text": "He had a fucking evacuation map."}, {"start": 26.88, "end": 27.84, "text": "First came red."}, {"start": 28.8, "end": 33.36, "text": "Red walked into the dispensary wearing six inch heels and the expression of a woman who had"}, {"start": 33.36, "end": 37.2, "text": "already keyed Jesse's car just in case the date disappointed her later."}, {"start": 38.16, "end": 40.88, "text": "She said, I like a man who takes control."}, {"start": 41.92, "end": 43.68, "text": "Jesse said, absolutely."}, {"start": 44.72, "end": 50.24, "text": "Then the cashier asked whether he wanted a receipt and Jesse whispered, whatever she thinks is best."}, {"start": 51.28, "end": 53.92, "text": "Red bought an edible called domestic disturbance."}, {"start": 54.88, "end": 59.92, "text": "20 minutes later she climbed onto Jesse's lap and said, tonight I'm tying you to the bed."}, {"start": 60.88, "end": 62.16, "text": "Jesse got excited."}, {"start": 63.12, "end": 64.4, "text": "She opened QuickBooks."}, {"start": 65.52, "end": 69.36, "text": "Tell me where the cleaning money went. You financially naked motherfucker."}, {"start": 70.4, "end": 74.72, "text": "Nothing kills an erection like a profit and loss statement screaming that your dick has been"}, {"start": 74.72, "end": 76.0, "text": "operating at a deficit."}, {"start": 76.96, "end": 77.92, "text": "Then came yellow."}, {"start": 78.96, "end": 82.64, "text": "Yellow wore crystals around her neck, crystals in her purse,"}, {"start": 82.64, "end": 86.32, "text": "and one enormous crystal Jesse suspected was just a stolen lamp."}, {"start": 87.36, "end": 89.92, "text": "She said, my body is a sacred temple."}, {"start": 90.96, "end": 96.24, "text": "Jesse looked at the pile of door dash bags and said, apparently the temple has a 24 hour"}, {"start": 96.24, "end": 100.32, "text": "food court. She gave him a gummy called Open Your Third Eye."}, {"start": 101.36, "end": 106.56, "text": "Jesse ate three because his first two eyes had never spotted a red flag in their fucking lives."}, {"start": 107.52, "end": 114.0, "text": "Yellow lit 17 candles turned on whale sounds and whispered, our energies are about to become one."}, {"start": 114.96, "end": 117.2, "text": "Then her husband unlocked the front door."}, {"start": 118.16, "end": 119.84, "text": "She said, don't panic."}, {"start": 120.8, "end": 122.72, "text": "He's very spiritually evolved."}, {"start": 123.68, "end": 125.92, "text": "The husband yelled, who the hell is that?"}, {"start": 126.88, "end": 131.2, "text": "Jesse, high enough to hear wallpaper, shouted, I'm the cable guy."}, {"start": 132.16, "end": 136.08, "text": "He was naked, holding a crystal and hiding behind the houseplant."}, {"start": 137.12, "end": 139.6, "text": "Not even Comcast has serviced that desperate."}, {"start": 140.56, "end": 141.52, "text": "Then came blue."}, {"start": 142.56, "end": 143.68, "text": "Blue didn't bring weed."}, {"start": 144.72, "end": 145.84, "text": "She brought evidence."}, {"start": 146.88, "end": 152.64, "text": "Before appetizers, she had Jesse's driving record, credit score, browser history,"}, {"start": 152.64, "end": 156.64, "text": "and a satellite photograph of him leaving a Taco Bell in 2018."}, {"start": 157.68, "end": 159.36, "text": "She said, who is Melissa?"}, {"start": 160.4, "end": 162.64, "text": "Jesse said, my insurance agent."}, {"start": 163.6, "end": 166.96, "text": "Blue said, then why did she text, I miss your body?"}, {"start": 167.92, "end": 170.8, "text": "Jesse said, she sells comprehensive coverage."}, {"start": 171.92, "end": 175.84, "text": "Later, blue put handcuffs on Jesse and whispered, give it to me."}, {"start": 176.88, "end": 177.84, "text": "Jesse smiled."}, {"start": 178.88, "end": 181.52, "text": "She said, your unlocked phone, dumbass."}, {"start": 182.72, "end": 186.16, "text": "Nobody came here for that exhausted little witness protection penis."}, {"start": 187.2, "end": 188.72, "text": "His dick didn't go soft."}, {"start": 189.68, "end": 192.0, "text": "It entered the federal relocation program."}, {"start": 193.12, "end": 194.32, "text": "Finally came green."}, {"start": 195.36, "end": 200.56, "text": "Green arrived for one night carrying groceries, a CPAP machine, an air fryer,"}, {"start": 200.56, "end": 203.52, "text": "and enough luggage to invade a small European country."}, {"start": 204.56, "end": 206.4, "text": "She said, I'm not moving in."}, {"start": 207.44, "end": 209.76, "text": "Jesse said, then why is your mail here?"}, {"start": 210.8, "end": 213.68, "text": "She said, because the post office believes in us."}, {"start": 214.8, "end": 220.64, "text": "Green made dinner, reorganized his bathroom, renamed his dog, and replaced every photograph"}, {"start": 220.64, "end": 223.44, "text": "in the house with AI pictures of their future children."}, {"start": 224.4, "end": 226.8, "text": "Jesse said, we met four hours ago."}, {"start": 227.84, "end": 231.2, "text": "Green said, our oldest starts community college Tuesday."}, {"start": 232.24, "end": 233.84, "text": "Then she climbed onto the bed."}, {"start": 234.88, "end": 239.28, "text": "The mattress made a noise like it had just remembered every warranty exclusion at once."}, {"start": 240.32, "end": 241.84, "text": "The bed frame didn't break."}, {"start": 242.88, "end": 243.6, "text": "It resigned."}, {"start": 244.72, "end": 248.48, "text": "Left a tiny note saying, I can't keep supporting this relationship."}, {"start": 249.44, "end": 254.16, "text": "And Jesse stayed underneath because escape required abdominal muscles and a confirmed"}, {"start": 254.16, "end": 255.04, "text": "forwarding address."}, {"start": 256.08, "end": 262.48, "text": "By sunrise, red had audited him, yellow had opened his third eye, blue had subpoenaed his penis,"}, {"start": 262.48, "end": 264.64, "text": "and green had claimed him as a dependent."}, {"start": 265.6, "end": 269.12, "text": "Jesse finally realized four colors wasn't a dating system."}, {"start": 270.08, "end": 272.16, "text": "It was an emergency alert."}, {"start": 273.2, "end": 274.24, "text": "Red means stop."}, {"start": 275.2, "end": 276.48, "text": "Yellow means caution."}, {"start": 277.44, "end": 279.36, "text": "Blue means your phone is evidence."}, {"start": 280.4, "end": 284.16, "text": "And green means the air fryer already receives mail at your house."}, {"start": 285.36, "end": 286.88, "text": "Jesse could have chosen peace."}, {"start": 287.92, "end": 292.48, "text": "He could have stayed home, smoked one sensible joint, and watched television."}, {"start": 293.52, "end": 296.64, "text": "Instead, he dated the entire fucking traffic light."}, {"start": 297.6, "end": 300.08, "text": "And somehow every color meant the same thing."}, {"start": 301.04, "end": 304.16, "text": "This horny idiot is about to lose his security deposit."}, {"start": 305.12, "end": 306.88, "text": "Ready for Jesse's mouth test."}, {"start": 307.92, "end": 311.92, "text": "Reply, LOL, almost, or dead."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nFor Colors After Dark, Private Mouth Test Everything you're about to hear is fictional adult comedy. The characters and stories are exaggerated for entertainment. Trailer Guy Jesse said he wanted to date all four colors because apparently one bad decision at a time wasn't producing bankruptcy fast enough. He didn't have a type. He had a fucking evacuation map. First came red. Red walked into the dispensary wearing six inch heels and the expression of a woman who had already keyed Jesse's car just in case the date disappointed her later. She said, I like a man who takes control. Jesse said, absolutely. Then the cashier asked whether he wanted a receipt and Jesse whispered, whatever she thinks is best. Red bought an edible called domestic disturbance. 20 minutes later she climbed onto Jesse's lap and said, tonight I'm tying you to the bed. Jesse got excited. She opened QuickBooks. Tell me where the cleaning money went. You financially naked motherfucker. Nothing kills an erection like a profit and loss statement screaming that your dick has been operating at a deficit. Then came yellow. Yellow wore crystals around her neck, crystals in her purse, and one enormous crystal Jesse suspected was just a stolen lamp. She said, my body is a sacred temple. Jesse looked at the pile of door dash bags and said, apparently the temple has a 24 hour food court. She gave him a gummy called Open Your Third Eye. Jesse ate three because his first two eyes had never spotted a red flag in their fucking lives. Yellow lit 17 candles turned on whale sounds and whispered, our energies are about to become one. Then her husband unlocked the front door. She said, don't panic. He's very spiritually evolved. The husband yelled, who the hell is that? Jesse, high enough to hear wallpaper, shouted, I'm the cable guy. He was naked, holding a crystal and hiding behind the houseplant. Not even Comcast has serviced that desperate. Then came blue. Blue didn't bring weed. She brought evidence. Before appetizers, she had Jesse's driving record, credit score, browser history, and a satellite photograph of him leaving a Taco Bell in 2018. She said, who is Melissa? Jesse said, my insurance agent. Blue said, then why did she text, I miss your body? Jesse said, she sells comprehensive coverage. Later, blue put handcuffs on Jesse and whispered, give it to me. Jesse smiled. She said, your unlocked phone, dumbass. Nobody came here for that exhausted little witness protection penis. His dick didn't go soft. It entered the federal relocation program. Finally came green. Green arrived for one night carrying groceries, a CPAP machine, an air fryer, and enough luggage to invade a small European country. She said, I'm not moving in. Jesse said, then why is your mail here? She said, because the post office believes in us. Green made dinner, reorganized his bathroom, renamed his dog, and replaced every photograph in the house with AI pictures of their future children. Jesse said, we met four hours ago. Green said, our oldest starts community college Tuesday. Then she climbed onto the bed. The mattress made a noise like it had just remembered every warranty exclusion at once. The bed frame didn't break. It resigned. Left a tiny note saying, I can't keep supporting this relationship. And Jesse stayed underneath because escape required abdominal muscles and a confirmed forwarding address. By sunrise, red had audited him, yellow had opened his third eye, blue had subpoenaed his penis, and green had claimed him as a dependent. Jesse finally realized four colors wasn't a dating system. It was an emergency alert. Red means stop. Yellow means caution. Blue means your phone is evidence. And green means the air fryer already receives mail at your house. Jesse could have chosen peace. He could have stayed home, smoked one sensible joint, and watched television. Instead, he dated the entire fucking traffic light. And somehow every color meant the same thing. This horny idiot is about to lose his security deposit. Ready for Jesse's mouth test. Reply, LOL, almost, or dead.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}