{"file": "audio/redline-2026-09-04-batch2/2026-09-02-lives-forever-p1.mp3", "duration_sec": 351.1, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.72, "text": "This is comedy, laughs and giggles."}, {"start": 2.72, "end": 5.0, "text": "Who makes Jesse laugh, loves forever,"}, {"start": 5.0, "end": 8.0, "text": "red line comedy club, comic gets one minute."}, {"start": 8.0, "end": 11.04, "text": "Then we talk shit about the jokes, I pick who lives."}, {"start": 11.04, "end": 13.12, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 13.12, "end": 13.96, "text": "Call him."}, {"start": 13.96, "end": 15.84, "text": "Jesse quits seven jobs."}, {"start": 15.84, "end": 18.44, "text": "They didn't fire him, they archived him."}, {"start": 18.44, "end": 22.28, "text": "That's a fancy word for your body filed you under left over."}, {"start": 22.28, "end": 23.68, "text": "Arm quit."}, {"start": 23.68, "end": 26.28, "text": "Good hand still wipes toilets."}, {"start": 26.28, "end": 29.0, "text": "Dead arm watches like it paid for a show"}, {"start": 29.0, "end": 31.0, "text": "when wants a refund."}, {"start": 31.0, "end": 34.32, "text": "Dating at 50 with one working wing."}, {"start": 34.32, "end": 37.88, "text": "That's not a profile, that's a warning label."}, {"start": 37.88, "end": 39.8, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 39.8, "end": 42.56, "text": "He put open to work on a dating app."}, {"start": 42.56, "end": 44.2, "text": "She thought it was a kink."}, {"start": 44.2, "end": 46.24, "text": "He thought it was honesty."}, {"start": 46.24, "end": 48.0, "text": "She asked what he does."}, {"start": 48.0, "end": 52.28, "text": "He started listing jobs like a man reading a crash report."}, {"start": 52.28, "end": 54.96, "text": "She left before he got to the mop."}, {"start": 54.96, "end": 56.88, "text": "He still clocked in."}, {"start": 56.88, "end": 58.44, "text": "That's the closer."}, {"start": 58.44, "end": 60.12, "text": "The jobs left."}, {"start": 60.12, "end": 61.36, "text": "He didn't."}, {"start": 61.36, "end": 63.28, "text": "Sit down, roast him."}, {"start": 63.28, "end": 64.68, "text": "Open to work as the joke."}, {"start": 64.68, "end": 66.68, "text": "You buried it under toilets."}, {"start": 66.68, "end": 67.68, "text": "Don't."}, {"start": 67.68, "end": 69.28, "text": "Crash report is the set."}, {"start": 69.28, "end": 71.76, "text": "The mop was a tag you didn't need."}, {"start": 71.76, "end": 72.76, "text": "Aussie."}, {"start": 72.76, "end": 74.84, "text": "Jesse's famous arm quit."}, {"start": 74.84, "end": 76.04, "text": "Shoulder surgery."}, {"start": 76.04, "end": 78.84, "text": "He used to swing him up like it owed him money."}, {"start": 78.84, "end": 80.88, "text": "Now the good hand does the toilets."}, {"start": 80.88, "end": 84.48, "text": "And the dead one hangs there like a guest who won't leave."}, {"start": 84.48, "end": 87.2, "text": "Dating at 50 with a rotator cuff."}, {"start": 87.2, "end": 88.8, "text": "He says get on top."}, {"start": 88.8, "end": 90.36, "text": "He says I can't."}, {"start": 90.36, "end": 92.64, "text": "That's a workers comp claim."}, {"start": 92.64, "end": 94.24, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 94.24, "end": 96.24, "text": "She offered to be on top."}, {"start": 96.24, "end": 99.68, "text": "He said that's the only position my insurance covers."}, {"start": 99.68, "end": 100.68, "text": "She left."}, {"start": 100.68, "end": 103.04, "text": "Then she saw the ice pack."}, {"start": 103.04, "end": 104.72, "text": "That's not after care."}, {"start": 104.72, "end": 107.64, "text": "That's a man whose best years are in a sling."}, {"start": 107.64, "end": 110.04, "text": "He still asked if she was coming back."}, {"start": 110.04, "end": 114.4, "text": "She said maybe that's the most optimistic lie he's heard all year."}, {"start": 114.4, "end": 115.96, "text": "I got laid in a sling."}, {"start": 115.96, "end": 116.96, "text": "Sit down."}, {"start": 116.96, "end": 117.96, "text": "He asked if she was coming back."}, {"start": 117.96, "end": 118.96, "text": "That's not a tag."}, {"start": 118.96, "end": 119.96, "text": "That's begging with a prescription."}, {"start": 119.96, "end": 120.96, "text": "Liam."}, {"start": 120.96, "end": 123.96, "text": "He comes home to three dogs after two jobs."}, {"start": 123.96, "end": 124.96, "text": "That's not a family."}, {"start": 124.96, "end": 126.96, "text": "That's a review board with fur."}, {"start": 126.96, "end": 128.96, "text": "They smell who he was with."}, {"start": 128.96, "end": 129.96, "text": "They vote."}, {"start": 129.96, "end": 131.96, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 131.96, "end": 133.96, "text": "He tried to be quiet."}, {"start": 133.96, "end": 136.96, "text": "The golden retriever sighed louder than she did."}, {"start": 136.96, "end": 139.96, "text": "The other two walked in like union reps."}, {"start": 139.96, "end": 142.96, "text": "He said he was not going to be a dog."}, {"start": 143.96, "end": 146.96, "text": "The other two walked in like union reps."}, {"start": 146.96, "end": 147.96, "text": "He didn't finish."}, {"start": 147.96, "end": 148.96, "text": "He fed them."}, {"start": 148.96, "end": 149.96, "text": "That's the nut."}, {"start": 149.96, "end": 153.96, "text": "His sex life has witnesses and they all want dinner."}, {"start": 153.96, "end": 155.96, "text": "Captain Savahoe clocked out."}, {"start": 155.96, "end": 157.96, "text": "The dog still want a tip."}, {"start": 157.96, "end": 158.96, "text": "The dog stayed."}, {"start": 158.96, "end": 159.96, "text": "Sit down."}, {"start": 159.96, "end": 160.96, "text": "Roast."}, {"start": 160.96, "end": 161.96, "text": "Union reps is the picture."}, {"start": 161.96, "end": 163.96, "text": "Don't explain dinner after that."}, {"start": 163.96, "end": 165.96, "text": "He didn't finish and he still paid."}, {"start": 165.96, "end": 167.96, "text": "That's the man."}, {"start": 167.96, "end": 168.96, "text": "Chris."}, {"start": 168.96, "end": 170.96, "text": "He spent five grand on a computer."}, {"start": 170.96, "end": 172.96, "text": "The robot could tell him he's not funny."}, {"start": 172.96, "end": 174.96, "text": "That's not art."}, {"start": 174.96, "end": 177.96, "text": "That's paying a machine to kick your ass in 4k."}, {"start": 177.96, "end": 179.96, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 179.96, "end": 181.96, "text": "The computer asked for a raise."}, {"start": 181.96, "end": 183.96, "text": "He mopped the floor under it."}, {"start": 183.96, "end": 185.96, "text": "It still wrote a better punchline than he did."}, {"start": 185.96, "end": 187.96, "text": "He argued with the robot."}, {"start": 187.96, "end": 188.96, "text": "The robot won."}, {"start": 188.96, "end": 190.96, "text": "He still has to go wipe toilets."}, {"start": 190.96, "end": 191.96, "text": "The computer doesn't."}, {"start": 191.96, "end": 192.96, "text": "That's the act."}, {"start": 192.96, "end": 195.96, "text": "A man fighting a box that doesn't even clock in."}, {"start": 195.96, "end": 197.96, "text": "I bought the box."}, {"start": 197.96, "end": 198.96, "text": "Sit down."}, {"start": 198.96, "end": 199.96, "text": "Roast."}, {"start": 199.96, "end": 200.96, "text": "The computer is the joke."}, {"start": 200.96, "end": 202.96, "text": "The raise was the setup."}, {"start": 202.96, "end": 203.96, "text": "You had it."}, {"start": 203.96, "end": 206.96, "text": "He pays to lose and then goes to a second job."}, {"start": 206.96, "end": 208.96, "text": "That's a business plan."}, {"start": 208.96, "end": 209.96, "text": "Max."}, {"start": 209.96, "end": 210.96, "text": "He wrote a sad book."}, {"start": 210.96, "end": 211.96, "text": "People said it was depressing."}, {"start": 211.96, "end": 214.96, "text": "So he turned the same life into filthy jokes."}, {"start": 214.96, "end": 216.96, "text": "Still zero dollars."}, {"start": 216.96, "end": 217.96, "text": "Attention with no cash."}, {"start": 217.96, "end": 219.96, "text": "That's a hobby with a microphone."}, {"start": 219.96, "end": 221.96, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 221.96, "end": 223.96, "text": "He read a sex joke to the book."}, {"start": 223.96, "end": 225.96, "text": "The book didn't laugh either."}, {"start": 225.96, "end": 227.96, "text": "He slammed it shut like it owed him rent."}, {"start": 227.96, "end": 228.96, "text": "It didn't."}, {"start": 228.96, "end": 229.96, "text": "He still went to the second job."}, {"start": 229.96, "end": 230.96, "text": "That's shit mightest."}, {"start": 230.96, "end": 231.96, "text": "He touches a dream."}, {"start": 231.96, "end": 233.96, "text": "It turns into overtime."}, {"start": 233.96, "end": 234.96, "text": "He touches a punchline."}, {"start": 234.96, "end": 235.96, "text": "Same thing."}, {"start": 235.96, "end": 236.96, "text": "The book didn't laugh."}, {"start": 236.96, "end": 237.96, "text": "I did."}, {"start": 237.96, "end": 238.96, "text": "Sit down."}, {"start": 238.96, "end": 239.96, "text": "Roast."}, {"start": 239.96, "end": 241.96, "text": "Hobby with a microphone is mean and true."}, {"start": 241.96, "end": 242.96, "text": "Stay there."}, {"start": 242.96, "end": 244.96, "text": "Don't tour the rent."}, {"start": 244.96, "end": 247.96, "text": "Zero dollars after a whole life."}, {"start": 247.96, "end": 248.96, "text": "That's the knockout."}, {"start": 248.96, "end": 251.96, "text": "You said it in the first ten seconds."}, {"start": 251.96, "end": 252.96, "text": "Gruff."}, {"start": 252.96, "end": 254.96, "text": "Two cleaning jobs today."}, {"start": 254.96, "end": 255.96, "text": "A body's a lawsuit."}, {"start": 255.96, "end": 256.96, "text": "Good hand."}, {"start": 256.96, "end": 257.96, "text": "Dead hand."}, {"start": 257.96, "end": 260.96, "text": "And a mouth that still thinks it's twenty."}, {"start": 260.96, "end": 262.96, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 262.96, "end": 264.96, "text": "A house asked him to be gentle with the wood."}, {"start": 264.96, "end": 267.96, "text": "He said that's my whole brand."}, {"start": 267.96, "end": 269.96, "text": "Then the vacuum drowned him out."}, {"start": 269.96, "end": 272.96, "text": "Mid sentence like even the appliance was over it."}, {"start": 272.96, "end": 274.96, "text": "He finished the floor."}, {"start": 274.96, "end": 276.96, "text": "That's the only thing he finishes."}, {"start": 276.96, "end": 279.96, "text": "He asked the vacuum if it wanted to get a drink."}, {"start": 279.96, "end": 280.96, "text": "It unplugged itself."}, {"start": 280.96, "end": 282.96, "text": "That's the most honest."}, {"start": 282.96, "end": 284.96, "text": "No, he's had all week."}, {"start": 284.96, "end": 285.96, "text": "I finished sit down."}, {"start": 285.96, "end": 286.96, "text": "Roast."}, {"start": 286.96, "end": 288.96, "text": "Unplugged itself is the closer."}, {"start": 288.96, "end": 289.96, "text": "Brand was cheap."}, {"start": 289.96, "end": 291.96, "text": "Keep the vacuum."}, {"start": 291.96, "end": 292.96, "text": "He finishes floors."}, {"start": 292.96, "end": 293.96, "text": "That's the roast."}, {"start": 293.96, "end": 294.96, "text": "Don't add a drink."}, {"start": 294.96, "end": 295.96, "text": "Anthony."}, {"start": 295.96, "end": 299.96, "text": "He's had a car driving itself since hope was a subscription."}, {"start": 299.96, "end": 300.96, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 300.96, "end": 302.96, "text": "Booty call."}, {"start": 302.96, "end": 303.96, "text": "Car drove him there."}, {"start": 303.96, "end": 304.96, "text": "Parked itself."}, {"start": 304.96, "end": 308.96, "text": "Sat there like a friend who already knows you're about to blow it."}, {"start": 308.96, "end": 309.96, "text": "He went in."}, {"start": 309.96, "end": 311.96, "text": "He came back in four minutes."}, {"start": 311.96, "end": 312.96, "text": "The car didn't ask."}, {"start": 312.96, "end": 313.96, "text": "It just pulled out."}, {"start": 313.96, "end": 315.96, "text": "He tipped it in his head."}, {"start": 315.96, "end": 318.96, "text": "That's the most honest relationship he's got."}, {"start": 318.96, "end": 322.96, "text": "A machine that doesn't need a speech, doesn't need dinner,"}, {"start": 322.96, "end": 326.96, "text": "and still gets him home before the dogs start the meeting."}, {"start": 326.96, "end": 328.96, "text": "All right, that's part one."}, {"start": 328.96, "end": 329.96, "text": "Roast the last one."}, {"start": 329.96, "end": 330.96, "text": "Four minutes is the joke."}, {"start": 330.96, "end": 333.96, "text": "Don't dress it up as a relationship."}, {"start": 333.96, "end": 334.96, "text": "Calum had the app."}, {"start": 334.96, "end": 336.96, "text": "Ozzie had the sling."}, {"start": 336.96, "end": 338.96, "text": "Liam had the dogs."}, {"start": 338.96, "end": 339.96, "text": "Chris had the box."}, {"start": 339.96, "end": 341.96, "text": "Max had the book."}, {"start": 341.96, "end": 343.96, "text": "I had four minutes."}, {"start": 343.96, "end": 344.96, "text": "Pick."}, {"start": 344.96, "end": 345.96, "text": "I don't defend."}, {"start": 345.96, "end": 346.96, "text": "I mop."}, {"start": 346.96, "end": 347.96, "text": "I pick who lives forever."}, {"start": 347.96, "end": 348.96, "text": "That's red line."}, {"start": 348.96, "end": 349.96, "text": "That's kill Jesse."}, {"start": 349.96, "end": 350.96, "text": "Say it."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nThis is comedy, laughs and giggles. Who makes Jesse laugh, loves forever, red line comedy club, comic gets one minute. Then we talk shit about the jokes, I pick who lives. This next one is fake. Call him. Jesse quits seven jobs. They didn't fire him, they archived him. That's a fancy word for your body filed you under left over. Arm quit. Good hand still wipes toilets. Dead arm watches like it paid for a show when wants a refund. Dating at 50 with one working wing. That's not a profile, that's a warning label. This next one is fake. He put open to work on a dating app. She thought it was a kink. He thought it was honesty. She asked what he does. He started listing jobs like a man reading a crash report. She left before he got to the mop. He still clocked in. That's the closer. The jobs left. He didn't. Sit down, roast him. Open to work as the joke. You buried it under toilets. Don't. Crash report is the set. The mop was a tag you didn't need. Aussie. Jesse's famous arm quit. Shoulder surgery. He used to swing him up like it owed him money. Now the good hand does the toilets. And the dead one hangs there like a guest who won't leave. Dating at 50 with a rotator cuff. He says get on top. He says I can't. That's a workers comp claim. This next one is fake. She offered to be on top. He said that's the only position my insurance covers. She left. Then she saw the ice pack. That's not after care. That's a man whose best years are in a sling. He still asked if she was coming back. She said maybe that's the most optimistic lie he's heard all year. I got laid in a sling. Sit down. He asked if she was coming back. That's not a tag. That's begging with a prescription. Liam. He comes home to three dogs after two jobs. That's not a family. That's a review board with fur. They smell who he was with. They vote. This next one is fake. He tried to be quiet. The golden retriever sighed louder than she did. The other two walked in like union reps. He said he was not going to be a dog. The other two walked in like union reps. He didn't finish. He fed them. That's the nut. His sex life has witnesses and they all want dinner. Captain Savahoe clocked out. The dog still want a tip. The dog stayed. Sit down. Roast. Union reps is the picture. Don't explain dinner after that. He didn't finish and he still paid. That's the man. Chris. He spent five grand on a computer. The robot could tell him he's not funny. That's not art. That's paying a machine to kick your ass in 4k. This next one is fake. The computer asked for a raise. He mopped the floor under it. It still wrote a better punchline than he did. He argued with the robot. The robot won. He still has to go wipe toilets. The computer doesn't. That's the act. A man fighting a box that doesn't even clock in. I bought the box. Sit down. Roast. The computer is the joke. The raise was the setup. You had it. He pays to lose and then goes to a second job. That's a business plan. Max. He wrote a sad book. People said it was depressing. So he turned the same life into filthy jokes. Still zero dollars. Attention with no cash. That's a hobby with a microphone. This next one is fake. He read a sex joke to the book. The book didn't laugh either. He slammed it shut like it owed him rent. It didn't. He still went to the second job. That's shit mightest. He touches a dream. It turns into overtime. He touches a punchline. Same thing. The book didn't laugh. I did. Sit down. Roast. Hobby with a microphone is mean and true. Stay there. Don't tour the rent. Zero dollars after a whole life. That's the knockout. You said it in the first ten seconds. Gruff. Two cleaning jobs today. A body's a lawsuit. Good hand. Dead hand. And a mouth that still thinks it's twenty. This next one is fake. A house asked him to be gentle with the wood. He said that's my whole brand. Then the vacuum drowned him out. Mid sentence like even the appliance was over it. He finished the floor. That's the only thing he finishes. He asked the vacuum if it wanted to get a drink. It unplugged itself. That's the most honest. No, he's had all week. I finished sit down. Roast. Unplugged itself is the closer. Brand was cheap. Keep the vacuum. He finishes floors. That's the roast. Don't add a drink. Anthony. He's had a car driving itself since hope was a subscription. This next one is fake. Booty call. Car drove him there. Parked itself. Sat there like a friend who already knows you're about to blow it. He went in. He came back in four minutes. The car didn't ask. It just pulled out. He tipped it in his head. That's the most honest relationship he's got. A machine that doesn't need a speech, doesn't need dinner, and still gets him home before the dogs start the meeting. All right, that's part one. Roast the last one. Four minutes is the joke. Don't dress it up as a relationship. Calum had the app. Ozzie had the sling. Liam had the dogs. Chris had the box. Max had the book. I had four minutes. Pick. I don't defend. I mop. I pick who lives forever. That's red line. That's kill Jesse. Say it.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}