{"file": "audio/redline-2026-09-04-batch2/2026-09-02-four-color-ads.mp3", "duration_sec": 246.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.04, "text": "This is comedy, laughs and giggles."}, {"start": 2.04, "end": 5.4, "text": "This next one is fake, bombed, dapp, late night."}, {"start": 5.4, "end": 8.96, "text": "I sell four colors like its medicine for a man who can't keep a woman."}, {"start": 8.96, "end": 10.56, "text": "If you laugh, I live."}, {"start": 10.56, "end": 12.12, "text": "If you don't, I mop."}, {"start": 12.12, "end": 15.48, "text": "Trailer guy, that's me, that's the brand."}, {"start": 15.48, "end": 20.64, "text": "Tired of dating at 50 with a warning label, introducing yellow, creative, energetic,"}, {"start": 20.64, "end": 24.48, "text": "that's the girl who wants a night, that's the man who wants a speech."}, {"start": 24.48, "end": 26.68, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 26.68, "end": 28.4, "text": "I bought yellow."}, {"start": 28.48, "end": 29.72, "text": "She wanted to dance."}, {"start": 29.72, "end": 32.64, "text": "I wanted to explain my seven jobs."}, {"start": 32.64, "end": 34.44, "text": "She left mid-song."}, {"start": 34.44, "end": 36.04, "text": "I paid the cover both ways."}, {"start": 36.04, "end": 37.84, "text": "That's not energy."}, {"start": 37.84, "end": 41.2, "text": "That's a man tipping a dance he wasn't invited to."}, {"start": 41.2, "end": 45.68, "text": "Yellow, from the makers of talking too much, order now and we'll throw in a heart on with"}, {"start": 45.68, "end": 47.56, "text": "nowhere to go, but wait."}, {"start": 47.56, "end": 50.76, "text": "This next one is fake, green, steady, thoughtful."}, {"start": 50.76, "end": 52.32, "text": "That's the girl who wants a plan."}, {"start": 52.32, "end": 55.6, "text": "That's Jesse, promising calm with two jobs in a dead arm."}, {"start": 55.6, "end": 58.6, "text": "He still clocks in like it's a personality."}, {"start": 58.6, "end": 59.84, "text": "I bought green."}, {"start": 59.84, "end": 61.52, "text": "I said I'm stable."}, {"start": 61.52, "end": 63.48, "text": "My bank said that's cute."}, {"start": 63.48, "end": 65.16, "text": "She asked about tomorrow."}, {"start": 65.16, "end": 67.4, "text": "I said I have a second shift."}, {"start": 67.4, "end": 69.24, "text": "She said that's my answer."}, {"start": 69.24, "end": 71.2, "text": "I still paid for the salad."}, {"start": 71.2, "end": 73.12, "text": "She took the croutons."}, {"start": 73.12, "end": 74.4, "text": "Shit might as."}, {"start": 74.4, "end": 75.8, "text": "He touches steady."}, {"start": 75.8, "end": 77.88, "text": "It turns into overtime."}, {"start": 77.88, "end": 80.52, "text": "Green will send you a calendar and a mop."}, {"start": 80.52, "end": 82.92, "text": "If she stays past the salad, keep the receipt."}, {"start": 82.92, "end": 83.84, "text": "You won't need it."}, {"start": 83.84, "end": 84.92, "text": "But wait."}, {"start": 84.92, "end": 89.28, "text": "This next one is fake, blue, chameleon, adaptable."}, {"start": 89.28, "end": 90.28, "text": "That's me."}, {"start": 90.28, "end": 91.28, "text": "That's blue."}, {"start": 91.28, "end": 93.04, "text": "I change for every girl."}, {"start": 93.04, "end": 94.12, "text": "None of them stay."}, {"start": 94.12, "end": 96.88, "text": "I am every color until the bill comes."}, {"start": 96.88, "end": 98.4, "text": "Then I'm broke."}, {"start": 98.4, "end": 99.56, "text": "I bought blue."}, {"start": 99.56, "end": 102.28, "text": "I was whoever she wanted for 40 minutes."}, {"start": 102.28, "end": 105.16, "text": "Then I was a guy with three dogs in a lawsuit."}, {"start": 105.16, "end": 106.48, "text": "She said pick one."}, {"start": 106.48, "end": 108.32, "text": "I said that's the bit."}, {"start": 108.32, "end": 109.64, "text": "She said that's my cue."}, {"start": 109.64, "end": 111.6, "text": "I still hearted the thumbs down."}, {"start": 111.6, "end": 112.76, "text": "That's not adaptable."}, {"start": 112.76, "end": 115.24, "text": "That's a man with no spine and a movie voice."}, {"start": 115.24, "end": 116.6, "text": "Blue, that's me."}, {"start": 116.6, "end": 117.6, "text": "That's the problem."}, {"start": 117.6, "end": 118.6, "text": "Limited time."}, {"start": 118.6, "end": 119.6, "text": "We'll throw in a personality."}, {"start": 119.6, "end": 121.12, "text": "It's on back order."}, {"start": 121.12, "end": 122.12, "text": "But wait."}, {"start": 122.12, "end": 123.12, "text": "Last color."}, {"start": 123.12, "end": 124.76, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 124.76, "end": 125.76, "text": "Red."}, {"start": 125.76, "end": 126.76, "text": "Protector."}, {"start": 126.76, "end": 127.76, "text": "Captain save a hoe in a bottle."}, {"start": 127.76, "end": 128.76, "text": "You see a tear."}, {"start": 128.76, "end": 129.76, "text": "You file a claim."}, {"start": 129.76, "end": 131.04, "text": "She wanted three blocks."}, {"start": 131.04, "end": 132.72, "text": "You wanted a purpose with a zipper."}, {"start": 132.72, "end": 133.72, "text": "You lose money."}, {"start": 133.72, "end": 137.04, "text": "You take the wrong girl home every time."}, {"start": 137.04, "end": 138.36, "text": "I bought red."}, {"start": 138.36, "end": 140.4, "text": "I saved a woman from a parking lot."}, {"start": 140.4, "end": 141.4, "text": "She wanted a ride."}, {"start": 141.76, "end": 143.68, "text": "I wanted a speech."}, {"start": 143.68, "end": 147.04, "text": "She got out at the light, left the wipe on the dash."}, {"start": 147.04, "end": 148.36, "text": "I still texted you home."}, {"start": 148.36, "end": 149.72, "text": "She sent a dislike."}, {"start": 149.72, "end": 151.24, "text": "That's not a protector."}, {"start": 151.24, "end": 155.48, "text": "That's a man volunteering for a job that doesn't pay in pussy."}, {"start": 155.48, "end": 156.76, "text": "I bought the four pack."}, {"start": 156.76, "end": 158.72, "text": "Yellow, talk me out of a dance."}, {"start": 158.72, "end": 160.56, "text": "Green, build me a salad."}, {"start": 160.56, "end": 162.16, "text": "Blue ghosted itself."}, {"start": 162.16, "end": 163.84, "text": "Red mopped a parking lot."}, {"start": 163.84, "end": 166.24, "text": "Jesse still says that's my type."}, {"start": 166.24, "end": 168.56, "text": "His type is a receipt."}, {"start": 168.56, "end": 169.56, "text": "Four colors."}, {"start": 169.56, "end": 172.2, "text": "Four color quiz dot com fake products."}, {"start": 172.2, "end": 173.2, "text": "Real mop."}, {"start": 173.2, "end": 174.2, "text": "I don't defend."}, {"start": 174.2, "end": 175.2, "text": "I sell."}, {"start": 175.2, "end": 176.2, "text": "Last line's mine."}, {"start": 176.2, "end": 177.96, "text": "But wait, we have a show."}, {"start": 177.96, "end": 179.28, "text": "This next one is fake."}, {"start": 179.28, "end": 181.72, "text": "Bombed app presents Rise of the comic."}, {"start": 181.72, "end": 185.04, "text": "A sitcom about a man who tries to win and turns it to shit."}, {"start": 185.04, "end": 186.04, "text": "I'm Jesse."}, {"start": 186.04, "end": 187.04, "text": "Trailer guy."}, {"start": 187.04, "end": 188.04, "text": "I host."}, {"start": 188.04, "end": 189.04, "text": "I lose."}, {"start": 189.04, "end": 190.04, "text": "I mop."}, {"start": 190.04, "end": 194.48, "text": "This week on Rise of the comic, Jesse takes a girl home wrong color."}, {"start": 194.48, "end": 195.48, "text": "Wrong girl."}, {"start": 195.48, "end": 196.48, "text": "The dog's vote."}, {"start": 196.48, "end": 197.48, "text": "Unanimous."}, {"start": 197.48, "end": 198.48, "text": "You dumb motherfucker."}, {"start": 198.48, "end": 199.48, "text": "You get to the mini way."}, {"start": 199.48, "end": 201.28, "text": "That's the loft track."}, {"start": 201.28, "end": 202.28, "text": "That's the rent."}, {"start": 202.28, "end": 205.6, "text": "Jesse plays a video game about becoming a comic."}, {"start": 205.6, "end": 208.08, "text": "In the game, he wins."}, {"start": 208.08, "end": 212.84, "text": "In the house, he owes the dog's dinner and the computer arrays."}, {"start": 212.84, "end": 214.4, "text": "Shit might us."}, {"start": 214.4, "end": 215.76, "text": "He touches a level."}, {"start": 215.76, "end": 217.4, "text": "It turns into a chore."}, {"start": 217.4, "end": 219.24, "text": "He still hits continue."}, {"start": 219.24, "end": 220.68, "text": "The brand is simple."}, {"start": 220.68, "end": 221.68, "text": "He tries."}, {"start": 221.68, "end": 223.0, "text": "It turns to trouble."}, {"start": 223.0, "end": 224.28, "text": "He loses money."}, {"start": 224.28, "end": 226.72, "text": "He takes the wrong girl home."}, {"start": 226.72, "end": 227.72, "text": "More colors."}, {"start": 227.72, "end": 228.72, "text": "One curse."}, {"start": 228.72, "end": 231.04, "text": "If you laugh, he lives forever."}, {"start": 231.04, "end": 236.6, "text": "If you don't, he still has two jobs and a hard on with nowhere to clock in."}, {"start": 236.6, "end": 238.0, "text": "That's Rise of the comic."}, {"start": 238.0, "end": 239.0, "text": "That's bomb.app."}, {"start": 239.0, "end": 240.32, "text": "That's kill Jesse."}, {"start": 240.32, "end": 241.56, "text": "I pick who lives."}, {"start": 241.56, "end": 242.64, "text": "I sell the colors."}, {"start": 242.64, "end": 244.4, "text": "I take the wrong one home."}, {"start": 244.4, "end": 245.4, "text": "Last line's mine."}, {"start": 245.4, "end": 246.4, "text": "Motherfuckers."}, {"start": 246.4, "end": 247.4, "text": "Say it."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nThis is comedy, laughs and giggles. This next one is fake, bombed, dapp, late night. I sell four colors like its medicine for a man who can't keep a woman. If you laugh, I live. If you don't, I mop. Trailer guy, that's me, that's the brand. Tired of dating at 50 with a warning label, introducing yellow, creative, energetic, that's the girl who wants a night, that's the man who wants a speech. This next one is fake. I bought yellow. She wanted to dance. I wanted to explain my seven jobs. She left mid-song. I paid the cover both ways. That's not energy. That's a man tipping a dance he wasn't invited to. Yellow, from the makers of talking too much, order now and we'll throw in a heart on with nowhere to go, but wait. This next one is fake, green, steady, thoughtful. That's the girl who wants a plan. That's Jesse, promising calm with two jobs in a dead arm. He still clocks in like it's a personality. I bought green. I said I'm stable. My bank said that's cute. She asked about tomorrow. I said I have a second shift. She said that's my answer. I still paid for the salad. She took the croutons. Shit might as. He touches steady. It turns into overtime. Green will send you a calendar and a mop. If she stays past the salad, keep the receipt. You won't need it. But wait. This next one is fake, blue, chameleon, adaptable. That's me. That's blue. I change for every girl. None of them stay. I am every color until the bill comes. Then I'm broke. I bought blue. I was whoever she wanted for 40 minutes. Then I was a guy with three dogs in a lawsuit. She said pick one. I said that's the bit. She said that's my cue. I still hearted the thumbs down. That's not adaptable. That's a man with no spine and a movie voice. Blue, that's me. That's the problem. Limited time. We'll throw in a personality. It's on back order. But wait. Last color. This next one is fake. Red. Protector. Captain save a hoe in a bottle. You see a tear. You file a claim. She wanted three blocks. You wanted a purpose with a zipper. You lose money. You take the wrong girl home every time. I bought red. I saved a woman from a parking lot. She wanted a ride. I wanted a speech. She got out at the light, left the wipe on the dash. I still texted you home. She sent a dislike. That's not a protector. That's a man volunteering for a job that doesn't pay in pussy. I bought the four pack. Yellow, talk me out of a dance. Green, build me a salad. Blue ghosted itself. Red mopped a parking lot. Jesse still says that's my type. His type is a receipt. Four colors. Four color quiz dot com fake products. Real mop. I don't defend. I sell. Last line's mine. But wait, we have a show. This next one is fake. Bombed app presents Rise of the comic. A sitcom about a man who tries to win and turns it to shit. I'm Jesse. Trailer guy. I host. I lose. I mop. This week on Rise of the comic, Jesse takes a girl home wrong color. Wrong girl. The dog's vote. Unanimous. You dumb motherfucker. You get to the mini way. That's the loft track. That's the rent. Jesse plays a video game about becoming a comic. In the game, he wins. In the house, he owes the dog's dinner and the computer arrays. Shit might us. He touches a level. It turns into a chore. He still hits continue. The brand is simple. He tries. It turns to trouble. He loses money. He takes the wrong girl home. More colors. One curse. If you laugh, he lives forever. If you don't, he still has two jobs and a hard on with nowhere to clock in. That's Rise of the comic. That's bomb.app. That's kill Jesse. I pick who lives. I sell the colors. I take the wrong one home. Last line's mine. Motherfuckers. Say it.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}