{"file": "audio/redline-2026-09-04-batch2/2026-09-01-openmic-night.mp3", "duration_sec": 175.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 5.72, "text": "This is comedy, laughs and giggles, kill Jesse, open mic night, this next one is fake."}, {"start": 5.72, "end": 10.28, "text": "Comic gets a minute, then we talk shit about the jokes, I pick who comes back."}, {"start": 10.28, "end": 11.18, "text": "Calum."}, {"start": 11.18, "end": 14.44, "text": "Jesse is 50, third job today."}, {"start": 14.44, "end": 16.24, "text": "Bodies are lawsuit."}, {"start": 16.24, "end": 20.68, "text": "He comes home to three dogs and calls that a dating life."}, {"start": 20.68, "end": 22.24, "text": "That's not Tinder."}, {"start": 22.24, "end": 24.56, "text": "That's a kennel with a movie voice."}, {"start": 24.56, "end": 29.84, "text": "He takes his shoes off and the golden retriever already knows the night is over."}, {"start": 29.84, "end": 32.68, "text": "Captain Saverho clocked out years ago."}, {"start": 32.68, "end": 34.72, "text": "The dog still want a tip."}, {"start": 34.72, "end": 35.72, "text": "Fake."}, {"start": 35.72, "end": 39.84, "text": "He asked a woman to a supply closet and called it in office."}, {"start": 39.84, "end": 40.92, "text": "She left."}, {"start": 40.92, "end": 42.88, "text": "The mop stayed."}, {"start": 42.88, "end": 44.48, "text": "That's the relationship."}, {"start": 44.48, "end": 47.6, "text": "A bucket with a hard on and a time limit."}, {"start": 47.6, "end": 48.68, "text": "The dog stayed."}, {"start": 48.68, "end": 49.8, "text": "That's more than you will."}, {"start": 49.8, "end": 51.32, "text": "Sit down, roast him."}, {"start": 51.32, "end": 52.32, "text": "That wasn't a minute."}, {"start": 52.32, "end": 56.76, "text": "That was a missing poster for a man who lives with witnesses."}, {"start": 56.76, "end": 58.72, "text": "The shoe joke landed."}, {"start": 58.72, "end": 61.96, "text": "Nothing after was him begging a mop for loyalty."}, {"start": 61.96, "end": 62.96, "text": "Needy."}, {"start": 62.96, "end": 63.96, "text": "Aussie."}, {"start": 63.96, "end": 68.8, "text": "Jesse cleans houses all day, then comes home broke and asks if he's still got it."}, {"start": 68.8, "end": 71.16, "text": "Bro, your body's a lawsuit."}, {"start": 71.16, "end": 74.52, "text": "Your dating profile is three dogs and a dead arm."}, {"start": 74.52, "end": 75.52, "text": "Fake."}, {"start": 75.52, "end": 76.84, "text": "He fell in love with the speech."}, {"start": 76.84, "end": 79.0, "text": "The pussy left like a fire drill."}, {"start": 79.0, "end": 82.12, "text": "He mopped the hallway like it was sorry."}, {"start": 82.12, "end": 83.6, "text": "That's not a closer."}, {"start": 83.6, "end": 86.72, "text": "That's a man whose bad decisions have Bluetooth."}, {"start": 86.72, "end": 87.72, "text": "Seven jobs."}, {"start": 87.72, "end": 88.72, "text": "Seven quits."}, {"start": 88.72, "end": 90.52, "text": "The jobs left first."}, {"start": 90.52, "end": 91.84, "text": "Shit might as."}, {"start": 91.84, "end": 93.16, "text": "He touches a woman."}, {"start": 93.16, "end": 94.84, "text": "She turns into a receipt."}, {"start": 94.84, "end": 96.56, "text": "He touches a punchline."}, {"start": 96.56, "end": 97.56, "text": "Same thing."}, {"start": 97.56, "end": 99.36, "text": "He pays a robot to tell him that."}, {"start": 99.36, "end": 101.24, "text": "Then argues with the robot."}, {"start": 101.24, "end": 102.08, "text": "I got laid."}, {"start": 102.08, "end": 103.08, "text": "She left a review."}, {"start": 103.08, "end": 104.36, "text": "Sit down, roast."}, {"start": 104.36, "end": 106.08, "text": "The receipt joke is the set."}, {"start": 106.08, "end": 107.96, "text": "You should have opened there, you animal."}, {"start": 107.96, "end": 108.96, "text": "The rest was cardio."}, {"start": 108.96, "end": 110.8, "text": "AI versus Jesse."}, {"start": 110.8, "end": 111.8, "text": "The robot writes."}, {"start": 111.8, "end": 112.8, "text": "He pays to lose."}, {"start": 112.8, "end": 113.8, "text": "That's not a tag."}, {"start": 113.8, "end": 114.8, "text": "That's the business."}, {"start": 114.8, "end": 115.8, "text": "Max."}, {"start": 115.8, "end": 116.8, "text": "Three witnesses."}, {"start": 116.88, "end": 118.04, "text": "All of them bark."}, {"start": 118.04, "end": 119.6, "text": "None of them call back."}, {"start": 119.6, "end": 120.92, "text": "Jesse doesn't date."}, {"start": 120.92, "end": 123.6, "text": "He auditions regret and feeds its kibble."}, {"start": 123.6, "end": 124.8, "text": "Fake."}, {"start": 124.8, "end": 127.84, "text": "The Tesla drove him to an exes street at one in the morning."}, {"start": 127.84, "end": 129.08, "text": "He didn't knock."}, {"start": 129.08, "end": 132.56, "text": "He tipped the car in his head, went home and mopped."}, {"start": 132.56, "end": 135.76, "text": "Full self-driving since hope was a subscription."}, {"start": 135.76, "end": 137.04, "text": "The car didn't snitch."}, {"start": 137.04, "end": 138.04, "text": "The dogs did."}, {"start": 138.04, "end": 140.76, "text": "They saw the whole thing and still won dinner."}, {"start": 140.76, "end": 142.4, "text": "Last joke isn't his."}, {"start": 142.4, "end": 144.16, "text": "The golden retriever already had it."}, {"start": 144.16, "end": 146.68, "text": "Jesse just holds the mic like it's a leash."}, {"start": 146.72, "end": 147.84, "text": "All right, that's the night."}, {"start": 147.84, "end": 149.2, "text": "Roast the last one."}, {"start": 149.2, "end": 152.84, "text": "Max opened at the dogs and stayed there."}, {"start": 152.84, "end": 155.36, "text": "That's a comic."}, {"start": 155.36, "end": 158.56, "text": "Aussie explained the receipt."}, {"start": 158.56, "end": 161.68, "text": "Calum dated the mop."}, {"start": 161.68, "end": 163.8, "text": "One of you is back."}, {"start": 163.8, "end": 166.56, "text": "The car joke is a closer."}, {"start": 166.56, "end": 168.72, "text": "Don't bury it in kibble."}, {"start": 168.72, "end": 170.72, "text": "Jesse, pick."}, {"start": 170.72, "end": 171.72, "text": "I don't defend."}, {"start": 171.72, "end": 172.4, "text": "I mop."}, {"start": 172.4, "end": 173.64, "text": "I pick who comes back."}, {"start": 173.64, "end": 174.92, "text": "That's kill Jesse."}, {"start": 174.92, "end": 175.68, "text": "Say it."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nThis is comedy, laughs and giggles, kill Jesse, open mic night, this next one is fake. Comic gets a minute, then we talk shit about the jokes, I pick who comes back. Calum. Jesse is 50, third job today. Bodies are lawsuit. He comes home to three dogs and calls that a dating life. That's not Tinder. That's a kennel with a movie voice. He takes his shoes off and the golden retriever already knows the night is over. Captain Saverho clocked out years ago. The dog still want a tip. Fake. He asked a woman to a supply closet and called it in office. She left. The mop stayed. That's the relationship. A bucket with a hard on and a time limit. The dog stayed. That's more than you will. Sit down, roast him. That wasn't a minute. That was a missing poster for a man who lives with witnesses. The shoe joke landed. Nothing after was him begging a mop for loyalty. Needy. Aussie. Jesse cleans houses all day, then comes home broke and asks if he's still got it. Bro, your body's a lawsuit. Your dating profile is three dogs and a dead arm. Fake. He fell in love with the speech. The pussy left like a fire drill. He mopped the hallway like it was sorry. That's not a closer. That's a man whose bad decisions have Bluetooth. Seven jobs. Seven quits. The jobs left first. Shit might as. He touches a woman. She turns into a receipt. He touches a punchline. Same thing. He pays a robot to tell him that. Then argues with the robot. I got laid. She left a review. Sit down, roast. The receipt joke is the set. You should have opened there, you animal. The rest was cardio. AI versus Jesse. The robot writes. He pays to lose. That's not a tag. That's the business. Max. Three witnesses. All of them bark. None of them call back. Jesse doesn't date. He auditions regret and feeds its kibble. Fake. The Tesla drove him to an exes street at one in the morning. He didn't knock. He tipped the car in his head, went home and mopped. Full self-driving since hope was a subscription. The car didn't snitch. The dogs did. They saw the whole thing and still won dinner. Last joke isn't his. The golden retriever already had it. Jesse just holds the mic like it's a leash. All right, that's the night. Roast the last one. Max opened at the dogs and stayed there. That's a comic. Aussie explained the receipt. Calum dated the mop. One of you is back. The car joke is a closer. Don't bury it in kibble. Jesse, pick. I don't defend. I mop. I pick who comes back. That's kill Jesse. Say it.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}