{"file": "audio/premium-laptop-2026-06-10/redline_dating_app_voice_test_extra_krispy.mp3", "duration_sec": 44.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.0, "text": "Dating apps are crazy man."}, {"start": 2.0, "end": 3.28, "text": "Women be picky."}, {"start": 3.28, "end": 4.64, "text": "That is not a joke."}, {"start": 4.64, "end": 7.36, "text": "That is a rejected text message with a microphone."}, {"start": 7.36, "end": 9.0, "text": "The premise is too flat."}, {"start": 9.0, "end": 11.48, "text": "Give us shame, a visual, and a turn."}, {"start": 11.48, "end": 12.88, "text": "Do not blame the app."}, {"start": 12.88, "end": 14.28, "text": "Make the comic the problem."}, {"start": 14.28, "end": 16.88, "text": "Dating apps made me realize I am not ugly."}, {"start": 16.88, "end": 18.8, "text": "I am just subscription ugly."}, {"start": 18.8, "end": 20.32, "text": "Women do not reject me."}, {"start": 20.32, "end": 23.12, "text": "They put me behind a paywall and wait for a better coupon."}, {"start": 23.12, "end": 24.48, "text": "Now it has teeth."}, {"start": 24.48, "end": 26.52, "text": "Before that, it was just a lonely guy"}, {"start": 26.52, "end": 28.4, "text": "blaming Wi-Fi for his face."}, {"start": 28.4, "end": 31.96, "text": "My profile has the energy of a clearance rack with allergies."}, {"start": 31.96, "end": 33.8, "text": "Even the algorithm said, brother,"}, {"start": 33.8, "end": 35.88, "text": "maybe try personality from the neck up."}, {"start": 35.88, "end": 37.4, "text": "That is the red line move."}, {"start": 37.4, "end": 39.4, "text": "Pain, picture, turn, tag."}, {"start": 39.4, "end": 40.68, "text": "Bring us your rough joke."}, {"start": 40.68, "end": 42.56, "text": "Bombed, app will not make it safe."}, {"start": 42.56, "end": 44.12, "text": "It will make it survive adults."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nDating apps are crazy man. Women be picky. That is not a joke. That is a rejected text message with a microphone. The premise is too flat. Give us shame, a visual, and a turn. Do not blame the app. Make the comic the problem. Dating apps made me realize I am not ugly. I am just subscription ugly. Women do not reject me. They put me behind a paywall and wait for a better coupon. Now it has teeth. Before that, it was just a lonely guy blaming Wi-Fi for his face. My profile has the energy of a clearance rack with allergies. Even the algorithm said, brother, maybe try personality from the neck up. That is the red line move. Pain, picture, turn, tag. Bring us your rough joke. Bombed, app will not make it safe. It will make it survive adults.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}