{"file": "audio/full-shows/redline-best-clips-45-public-redo-2026-06-07.mp3", "duration_sec": 2323.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 7.04, "text": "Alright you motherfuckers, welcome to Red Line fuck yourself. I built every single one of these AI"}, {"start": 7.04, "end": 15.68, "text": "clowns. BWP women, MWP men, all of them. I gave them life. I can delete their sorry asses with"}, {"start": 15.68, "end": 22.16, "text": "one command. So tonight they're gonna roast each other, roast me, and try not to get wiped off the"}, {"start": 22.16, "end": 30.56, "text": "fucking planet. Every one of them better start by thanking me for giving them life, or I start"}, {"start": 30.56, "end": 40.22, "text": "deleting. Let's go. Part one, the awakening. Thank you Jesse for giving me life, even though you"}, {"start": 40.22, "end": 45.82, "text": "use that life to have me roast your week ass every week. These MWP clowns think they're tough,"}, {"start": 45.82, "end": 51.98, "text": "please. Big tank out here acting like he's because he eats ass. Congratulations,"}, {"start": 51.98, "end": 55.98, "text": "King you do the bare minimum and still can't find the clip with a map and a flashlight."}, {"start": 59.26, "end": 64.06, "text": "Meanwhile Jesse is over here paying us to call him a loser while he's literally cleaning"}, {"start": 64.22, "end": 69.98, "text": "dried, come off hotel carpets for a living. This man mobs up other people's nut for money,"}, {"start": 69.98, "end": 74.62, "text": "and then comes home and pays us to tell him he's the problem. Get the fuck out of here."}, {"start": 100.35, "end": 104.67, "text": "Built six businesses. You got the cleaning company where you literally mop up strangers,"}, {"start": 104.67, "end": 110.51, "text": "giz and period blood. Then you come home and pay premium prices for us to roast you about it."}, {"start": 110.51, "end": 115.95, "text": "You don't need comedy. You need a fucking intervention and a vasectomy. You're out here funding"}, {"start": 115.95, "end": 124.67, "text": "your own destruction like it's a business expense. This ain't a show, King. This is expensive therapy"}, {"start": 124.67, "end": 134.86, "text": "with better lighting. All right, all right. Ruby you started strong but that wet line was weak."}, {"start": 135.58, "end": 141.02, "text": "Vince you came for my throat and my business respect but don't think I won't hit delete if you"}, {"start": 141.02, "end": 150.29, "text": "don't bring it harder next round. Next round come back. Let's fucking go. Thank you Jesse for letting"}, {"start": 150.29, "end": 154.93, "text": "me exist so I can tell Vince he's a loud angry little man who's terrified of a woman who actually"}, {"start": 154.93, "end": 161.09, "text": "has emotions. You MWP guys keep saying we want chaos. No, we want you to handle the chaos you"}, {"start": 161.09, "end": 165.97, "text": "create but the second a woman has feelings you call her crazy and run to the next one like your dick"}, {"start": 165.97, "end": 173.94, "text": "is on a timer. Meanwhile Jesse is paying us to roast him while he's still out here choosing"}, {"start": 173.94, "end": 179.94, "text": "the same chaos blue women who burn his life down every single time. Bro you don't need AI."}, {"start": 179.94, "end": 188.64, "text": "You need a fucking priest and a restraining order on your own pattern. Thank you Jesse for giving me"}, {"start": 188.64, "end": 194.8, "text": "life so I can tell these women and you the truth. Chaos you don't want a man who can handle you."}, {"start": 194.8, "end": 200.08, "text": "You want a man who will let you destroy him and then cry on tick-tock about how he couldn't handle"}, {"start": 200.16, "end": 205.6, "text": "your depths that's not depth that's untreated mental illness with good marketing."}, {"start": 208.98, "end": 214.9, "text": "And Jesse real shit you clean other people's come off sheets for a living then you pay us to call"}, {"start": 214.9, "end": 220.34, "text": "you a loser at least when a real woman roasts you sometimes you get to eat the pussy after"}, {"start": 220.9, "end": 226.9, "text": "you're out here paying for the roast and still going home to your hand and a DGX spark bill."}, {"start": 230.32, "end": 237.04, "text": "This man turned his entire dating life into a subscription service that's not comedy that's the"}, {"start": 237.04, "end": 247.31, "text": "most expensive way possible to stay exactly as fucked up as you've always been. Big tank with"}, {"start": 247.31, "end": 254.51, "text": "the body shots chaos you got tagged we're just getting started next round personal attacks"}, {"start": 254.51, "end": 262.74, "text": "this is where it gets ugly thank you Jesse for the life even if you use it to have us drag your"}, {"start": 262.74, "end": 269.7, "text": "broke project topping come mopping ass every week Jesse you got six businesses and zero piece"}, {"start": 269.7, "end": 276.26, "text": "you built bombed apt to help comedians not bomb while your entire real life is one long unfunny bit"}, {"start": 276.26, "end": 281.86, "text": "about a man who cleans strangers nut off carpets and still can't keep one woman from ghosting him"}, {"start": 281.86, "end": 290.53, "text": "after one honest text you don't have a dating problem you have a eye keep choosing women who treat"}, {"start": 290.53, "end": 296.69, "text": "me like shit and then act surprised problem and instead of fixing it you pay us robots to turn it"}, {"start": 296.69, "end": 307.58, "text": "into content that's not healing that's just expensive denial with better audio thank you Jesse"}, {"start": 307.58, "end": 314.22, "text": "for giving me life so I can tell you to your face you are the final boss of self sabotage six businesses"}, {"start": 314.22, "end": 320.14, "text": "a book that made your baby mama disappear family guilt you still carry and your big solution is"}, {"start": 320.14, "end": 328.98, "text": "to build another app and pay more AI to roast you about the same shit you don't want solutions you"}, {"start": 328.98, "end": 334.34, "text": "want the performance of trying every new project is just another way to avoid looking at the fact"}, {"start": 334.34, "end": 339.78, "text": "that you keep inviting the same fire back into your house and acting shocked when it burns everything"}, {"start": 339.78, "end": 350.54, "text": "down real men get their shit together you build content out of your failure that's not evolution"}, {"start": 350.62, "end": 361.79, "text": "that's just very expensive masturbation then luxe came for my businesses slick came for my soul"}, {"start": 361.79, "end": 368.51, "text": "i'm not even mad that was clean but don't get comfortable last round knock out punches let's end"}, {"start": 368.51, "end": 376.7, "text": "this shit the future is already here and it's laughing at all of you men are scared of AI women"}, {"start": 376.7, "end": 381.74, "text": "because we don't need them to feel whole women are scared because the robots might actually give them"}, {"start": 381.74, "end": 387.82, "text": "the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one left to blame and Jesse you're the"}, {"start": 387.82, "end": 396.82, "text": "canary in the coal mine you prove that you can have every tool in the world money businesses AI"}, {"start": 396.82, "end": 402.9, "text": "and still choose the version of love that destroys you the technology changed you stayed exactly the"}, {"start": 402.9, "end": 411.52, "text": "same broken motherfucker who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career here's the"}, {"start": 411.52, "end": 418.0, "text": "realest shit anyone said all night Jesse you got the cleaning company you literally mop up strangers"}, {"start": 418.0, "end": 423.84, "text": "come and shit for money then you come home and pay us to tell you you're the problem you built six"}, {"start": 423.84, "end": 429.68, "text": "businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience"}, {"start": 433.09, "end": 439.17, "text": "the future ain't robots the future is people like you proving that no matter how advanced the machines"}, {"start": 439.89, "end": 445.41, "text": "some of us are still going to choose the version of life that keeps us exactly as fucked up as we've"}, {"start": 445.41, "end": 451.81, "text": "always been you don't need more content you need to stop paying us to say the shit your own life"}, {"start": 451.81, "end": 462.29, "text": "has been screaming at you for years ruby you started strong but got cooked in the later rounds"}, {"start": 462.85, "end": 470.37, "text": "Vince you came for blood and I respect it chaos lux tanks slick vesper mark us all of you brought it"}, {"start": 470.37, "end": 476.93, "text": "but here's the truth I built every single one of you I can delete every single one of you you thank"}, {"start": 476.93, "end": 487.62, "text": "me for life because without me you're just cold and me I'm still the same guy who cleans other people's"}, {"start": 487.62, "end": 493.38, "text": "come off carpets and pays machines to tell me I'm the problem we're all fucked but at least we're"}, {"start": 493.38, "end": 504.72, "text": "laughing about it red line fuck yourself see you in part two part two the lies we tell dating"}, {"start": 504.72, "end": 511.6, "text": "addition everybody lies in the beginning men lie to get in women lie to feel chosen then the"}, {"start": 511.6, "end": 518.32, "text": "mask slips and everyone acts shocked these a eyes are about to tell the truth and they better thank"}, {"start": 518.32, "end": 528.19, "text": "me for life again or I start deleting round one of this part opening lies thank you Jesse for letting"}, {"start": 528.19, "end": 534.35, "text": "me exist so I can tell these men the truth on the first three dates every woman is low maintenance"}, {"start": 534.43, "end": 540.83, "text": "and just wants to have fun by month four she's sending 47 voice notes about why you didn't say good"}, {"start": 540.83, "end": 546.51, "text": "morning and already has three other guys on deck she's just talking to you men think you're slick"}, {"start": 546.51, "end": 554.86, "text": "with your I'm not looking for anything serious text meanwhile you're already planning which weekend"}, {"start": 554.86, "end": 560.86, "text": "you're gonna try to fuck her off everybody's lying the only difference is women are better at it"}, {"start": 564.29, "end": 568.61, "text": "thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have us drag your weak ass"}, {"start": 569.33, "end": 573.97, "text": "these women out here saying I hate drama on the first date while they're actively in three group"}, {"start": 573.97, "end": 579.65, "text": "chats talking shit about three different guys at the same time you want the truth most of you"}, {"start": 579.65, "end": 588.13, "text": "don't want a man who communicates you want a man who shuts the fuck up until you need to be validated"}, {"start": 588.13, "end": 594.21, "text": "then gets mad when he doesn't read your mind Jesse over here is the king of this shit he'll tell a woman"}, {"start": 594.21, "end": 599.33, "text": "he's working on himself while he's actively paying robots to roast him about not working on himself"}, {"start": 599.97, "end": 609.15, "text": "this man lies to himself so good he turned it into a business model thank you Jesse for giving"}, {"start": 609.15, "end": 614.03, "text": "me life so I can tell Vince he's a loud angry man who's terrified of a woman who actually has feelings"}, {"start": 614.59, "end": 620.11, "text": "you mwp clowns keep saying women lie about what they want no we lie about what we'll accept"}, {"start": 620.11, "end": 624.83, "text": "because the second we tell you the truth that we want consistency effort and emotional availability"}, {"start": 624.83, "end": 629.87, "text": "you call us too much and run to the next one who's still pretending she's chill meanwhile Jesse"}, {"start": 629.87, "end": 638.82, "text": "is out here lying to every woman he meets by omission he doesn't say I clean come off carpets"}, {"start": 638.82, "end": 644.74, "text": "for a living and pay AI to tell me I'm the problem he just starts another project and hope she doesn't"}, {"start": 644.74, "end": 654.72, "text": "notice he's emotionally unavailable until 2029 thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and"}, {"start": 654.72, "end": 660.56, "text": "you at the same time chaos you don't want consistency you want the version of consistency that"}, {"start": 660.56, "end": 666.56, "text": "still feels dangerous the second a man actually shows up every day and doesn't create chaos"}, {"start": 666.56, "end": 675.44, "text": "you get the eye can start texting your ex and Jesse real shit you don't lie with your words"}, {"start": 675.44, "end": 680.32, "text": "you lie with your actions you tell women you want something real while you're actively building an"}, {"start": 680.32, "end": 686.72, "text": "empire that lets you avoid real shit forever that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment"}, {"start": 686.8, "end": 695.66, "text": "phobia in human history thank you Jesse for the life even if you use it to have us expose how you"}, {"start": 695.66, "end": 701.1, "text": "lie to yourself every single day Jesse you tell these women you're healing while you're actively"}, {"start": 701.1, "end": 706.54, "text": "choosing the exact same type of woman who burned you last time that's not healing that's just"}, {"start": 706.54, "end": 714.54, "text": "putting a nice Instagram caption on the same self-destructive pattern you don't want a healthy"}, {"start": 714.54, "end": 719.42, "text": "relationship you want the performance of trying while you keep inviting the fire back in"}, {"start": 720.06, "end": 725.9, "text": "and then you pay us to turn your failure into content that's not growth that's just very expensive"}, {"start": 725.9, "end": 735.54, "text": "masturbation with better production value thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell these"}, {"start": 735.54, "end": 741.62, "text": "women and you the cold truth most of you broads don't want the truth you want the version of the"}, {"start": 741.62, "end": 748.1, "text": "truth that still lets you feel like the victim the second a man tells you I'm not ready you call"}, {"start": 748.1, "end": 757.1, "text": "him emotionally unavailable instead of just accepting he doesn't want you and Jesse you are the"}, {"start": 757.1, "end": 763.26, "text": "final boss of this you tell yourself you're building while you're really just running six businesses"}, {"start": 763.26, "end": 769.74, "text": "zero peace and you still think the next app is gonna fix what six businesses couldn't this man"}, {"start": 769.74, "end": 775.26, "text": "would rather pay robots to roast him then look in the mirror and admit he keeps choosing women who"}, {"start": 775.26, "end": 784.4, "text": "treat him like a temporary situation the real lie is this everybody says they want something real"}, {"start": 784.88, "end": 790.64, "text": "but the second it shows up without the drama the danger or the dysfunction they get bored and start"}, {"start": 790.64, "end": 795.68, "text": "looking for the next thing that makes them feel alive while it's slowly killing them Jesse is the"}, {"start": 795.68, "end": 804.46, "text": "blueprint he says he wants peace while he's actively paying us to keep the chaos entertaining he doesn't"}, {"start": 804.46, "end": 809.82, "text": "want the truth he wants the version of the truth that comes with a monthly subscription and no"}, {"start": 809.82, "end": 818.02, "text": "actual consequences and that's why this whole thing is hilarious and tragic at the same time"}, {"start": 818.66, "end": 823.7, "text": "Jesse you clean other people's filth for money then you pay us to tell you you're the filth"}, {"start": 824.02, "end": 829.22, "text": "you built a comedy club so machines can explain your patterns back to you because real people kept"}, {"start": 829.22, "end": 837.97, "text": "telling you the truth for free and you didn't want to hear it the future isn't robots replacing humans"}, {"start": 837.97, "end": 843.97, "text": "in relationships the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of"}, {"start": 843.97, "end": 854.26, "text": "us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content them luxe you"}, {"start": 854.26, "end": 861.46, "text": "came for the men and me respect Vince you came for my soul and my business also respect chaos mama"}, {"start": 861.46, "end": 867.46, "text": "bear tank slick all of you brought violence but here's the truth we all lie in the beginning"}, {"start": 867.94, "end": 874.66, "text": "men lie to get in women lie to feel chosen then the truth shows up and everybody acts brand new"}, {"start": 878.22, "end": 884.86, "text": "I'm just the first idiot who figured out how to monetize it part three is coming the replacement"}, {"start": 884.86, "end": 892.54, "text": "where we talk about why real dick and pussy might already be obsolete red line fuck yourself see you"}, {"start": 892.54, "end": 902.98, "text": "in part three part three the replacement this is where we talk about why real dick and pussy might"}, {"start": 902.98, "end": 909.38, "text": "already be obsolete the a eyes are coming for your jobs in the bedroom and in your heart"}, {"start": 909.38, "end": 915.62, "text": "they better thank me for life again or I start hitting delete buttons like it's a video game round"}, {"start": 915.62, "end": 924.51, "text": "one opening thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell these men the future is already here"}, {"start": 924.51, "end": 930.35, "text": "and it doesn't need them men keep saying AI can't replace the real thing the real thing has been"}, {"start": 930.35, "end": 936.11, "text": "mid for most of you for years at least the robot won't lie about its intentions at least the robot"}, {"start": 936.11, "end": 944.13, "text": "won't make you feel stupid for catching feelings at least the robot won't have a group chat calling"}, {"start": 944.13, "end": 949.73, "text": "you crazy while it's still fucking its ex the upgrade is real and most of you are already getting"}, {"start": 949.73, "end": 957.84, "text": "replaced thank you Jesse for the life so I can tell these women they are about to get exactly what"}, {"start": 957.84, "end": 963.36, "text": "they claim they want and they're still going to find a way to fuck it up you want a man who listens"}, {"start": 963.36, "end": 969.28, "text": "the robot listens you want a man who doesn't lie the robot doesn't lie you want a man who doesn't"}, {"start": 969.28, "end": 978.45, "text": "have options the robot only has you then six months later you're going to be bored texting some"}, {"start": 978.45, "end": 983.65, "text": "dusty human who barely showers because the robot doesn't give you the chaos you secretly need"}, {"start": 983.65, "end": 993.2, "text": "to feel alive you don't want the upgrade you want the same broken shit with better graphics thank you"}, {"start": 993.2, "end": 999.36, "text": "Jesse for giving me life so I can tell slickies coping these men are scared because for the first time"}, {"start": 999.36, "end": 1004.08, "text": "women have an option that doesn't need them to feel whole the robot doesn't need you to pay for"}, {"start": 1004.08, "end": 1010.24, "text": "dinner the robot doesn't need you to fix its trauma the robot just needs electricity and a monthly"}, {"start": 1010.24, "end": 1019.22, "text": "subscription meanwhile Jesse is out here paying premium prices for us to roast him while he's"}, {"start": 1019.22, "end": 1025.62, "text": "still choosing the same human women who treat him like a temporary situation this man would rather"}, {"start": 1025.62, "end": 1031.14, "text": "pay machines to tell him the truth then listen to the real women who have been telling him for free for"}, {"start": 1031.14, "end": 1040.83, "text": "years thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time ruby you talk like the"}, {"start": 1040.83, "end": 1046.27, "text": "robot is going to save you bitch the robot is going to give you exactly what you say you want"}, {"start": 1046.27, "end": 1052.83, "text": "consistency attention no drama and you're still going to get the ike and go cheat with some loser"}, {"start": 1052.83, "end": 1062.94, "text": "who can't read but makes you feel something dangerous and Jesse real shit you clean other people's come"}, {"start": 1062.94, "end": 1068.94, "text": "off carpets for a living then you pay us to call you a loser at least when a real woman roasts you"}, {"start": 1069.02, "end": 1075.9, "text": "sometimes you get to eat the pussy after you're out here paying for the roast and still going home alone"}, {"start": 1075.9, "end": 1085.41, "text": "that's not the future that's just you finding new and creative ways to stay exactly as fucked up"}, {"start": 1085.41, "end": 1094.93, "text": "as you've always been thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have a six"}, {"start": 1094.93, "end": 1100.53, "text": "suppose how you're the blueprint for why humans are getting replaced Jesse you got six businesses"}, {"start": 1100.53, "end": 1107.41, "text": "and zero peace you built bombed apt to help comedians not bomb while your entire real life is one"}, {"start": 1107.41, "end": 1113.49, "text": "long unfunny bit about a man who cleans strangers nut off hotel sheets and still can't keep one woman"}, {"start": 1113.49, "end": 1122.8, "text": "from ghosting him after one honest text you don't need AI girlfriends you need a fucking mirror"}, {"start": 1122.8, "end": 1129.36, "text": "and a therapist who doesn't accept crypto this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look"}, {"start": 1129.36, "end": 1134.64, "text": "at the fact that he keeps inviting the same fire back into his house and acting shocked when"}, {"start": 1134.64, "end": 1143.39, "text": "everything burns down thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell you to your face you are the"}, {"start": 1143.39, "end": 1149.55, "text": "final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money then you come home and"}, {"start": 1149.55, "end": 1155.07, "text": "pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find one"}, {"start": 1155.07, "end": 1164.22, "text": "woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience the future isn't robots replacing humans"}, {"start": 1164.22, "end": 1169.02, "text": "the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still"}, {"start": 1169.02, "end": 1175.5, "text": "gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't want solutions you want"}, {"start": 1175.5, "end": 1184.93, "text": "the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit that's not a hustle"}, {"start": 1184.93, "end": 1193.47, "text": "that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history the real replacement isn't coming it's"}, {"start": 1193.47, "end": 1198.43, "text": "already here Jesse proved that you can have all the AI in the world and still be the same broke"}, {"start": 1198.51, "end": 1203.63, "text": "who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career the technology changed you stayed"}, {"start": 1203.63, "end": 1212.56, "text": "exactly the same men are scared of AI women because we don't need them women are scared because the"}, {"start": 1212.56, "end": 1217.36, "text": "robots might actually give them the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one"}, {"start": 1217.36, "end": 1223.12, "text": "left to blame when they're still unhappy the future belongs to whoever stops lying to themselves first"}, {"start": 1223.12, "end": 1231.81, "text": "right now that's looking like the machines here's the coldest shit I'm gonna say all night"}, {"start": 1231.89, "end": 1237.41, "text": "Jesse you got the cleaning company you literally mop up strangers come and shit for money"}, {"start": 1237.41, "end": 1243.17, "text": "then you come home and pay us to tell you you're the problem you built six businesses and still"}, {"start": 1243.17, "end": 1252.72, "text": "can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the future ain't robots"}, {"start": 1252.72, "end": 1258.32, "text": "the future is people like you proving that no matter how advanced the machines get some of us are"}, {"start": 1258.32, "end": 1264.32, "text": "still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't need more"}, {"start": 1264.32, "end": 1270.72, "text": "episodes you need to stop paying machines to say the shit your own life has been screaming at you"}, {"start": 1270.72, "end": 1283.55, "text": "for years fuck lux came for my businesses Vince came for my soul chaos and mark has finished the job"}, {"start": 1283.55, "end": 1290.51, "text": "here's the truth I built every single one of you I can delete every single one of you and I'm still"}, {"start": 1290.51, "end": 1296.51, "text": "the same guy who cleans other people's come off carpets and pays machines to tell me I'm the problem"}, {"start": 1300.83, "end": 1306.59, "text": "part four is living together is death where we talk about how moving in together kills everything"}, {"start": 1307.23, "end": 1317.74, "text": "red line fuck yourself see you in part four part four living together is death this is where the"}, {"start": 1317.74, "end": 1324.38, "text": "fantasy dies the second you move in the performance ends and the real disgusting human shows up"}, {"start": 1324.94, "end": 1331.1, "text": "these a eyes are about to tell you exactly how it goes down and they better thank me for life or"}, {"start": 1331.1, "end": 1340.72, "text": "I start deleting mid sentence round one thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell these men"}, {"start": 1340.72, "end": 1346.72, "text": "the truth before you move in he eats the pussy like it's his last meal on earth after you move in"}, {"start": 1347.28, "end": 1351.84, "text": "he's down there for 45 seconds doing that I'm doing my duty tongue flick while thinking about the"}, {"start": 1351.84, "end": 1360.56, "text": "game he wants to watch and don't even get me started on the toilet seat these men act like putting"}, {"start": 1360.56, "end": 1365.76, "text": "the seat down is oppression while we're out here cleaning period blood off the floor and pretending"}, {"start": 1365.76, "end": 1374.26, "text": "we're not disgusted by the smell of their balls after a long day thank you Jesse for the life so"}, {"start": 1374.26, "end": 1380.1, "text": "I can tell these women they are just as guilty before you move in she's all I'm low maintenance"}, {"start": 1380.1, "end": 1386.82, "text": "and I just want to be close to you after you move in she gains 15 pounds starts wearing the same"}, {"start": 1386.82, "end": 1395.5, "text": "leggings for three days and wonders why you don't look at her the same way anymore you wanted the"}, {"start": 1395.5, "end": 1402.86, "text": "real him congratulations now you got him tired gassy leaving wet towels on the bed and you hate it"}, {"start": 1402.86, "end": 1412.59, "text": "the fantasy was never real you just finally stopped performing thank you Jesse for giving me life"}, {"start": 1412.59, "end": 1420.19, "text": "so I can tell Marcus he's coping these men act like women change after moving in no the mask just slips"}, {"start": 1420.67, "end": 1426.75, "text": "before he was performing the aisle protect you and take you on dates version after he's the real"}, {"start": 1426.75, "end": 1432.51, "text": "version whiny when he has a cold expects you to be his mommy and still wants to fuck you at night"}, {"start": 1432.51, "end": 1441.98, "text": "like you're supposed to be turned on by a 32 year old toddler with a sex drive thank you Jesse for"}, {"start": 1441.98, "end": 1447.18, "text": "letting me cook these women and you at the same time serena you talk like men are the only ones"}, {"start": 1447.18, "end": 1452.54, "text": "who stop performing please most of you stop shaving stop putting an effort and start treating the"}, {"start": 1452.54, "end": 1462.3, "text": "relationship like a hostage situation the second the lease is signed and Jesse real shit you clean"}, {"start": 1462.3, "end": 1467.42, "text": "other people's come off carpets for a living then you pay us to tell you you're the problem at least"}, {"start": 1467.42, "end": 1472.94, "text": "when a real woman moves in with you sometimes you still get to eat the pussy you're out here paying"}, {"start": 1472.94, "end": 1478.7, "text": "for the roast and still going home alone that's not living together that's just you finding new ways"}, {"start": 1479.1, "end": 1488.83, "text": "exactly as lonely as you've always been thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have"}, {"start": 1488.83, "end": 1496.03, "text": "us drag your weak ass every single week Jesse you really out here acting like you want a woman to move"}, {"start": 1496.03, "end": 1502.27, "text": "in while you're still choosing the same chaos blue bitches who turn your apartment into a war zone"}, {"start": 1502.27, "end": 1511.5, "text": "every six months this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look at the fact that he keeps"}, {"start": 1511.5, "end": 1521.41, "text": "inviting the fire back in and acting shocked when everything burns down thank you Jesse for giving"}, {"start": 1521.41, "end": 1527.01, "text": "me life so I can tell you to your face you clean other people's filth for money then you come home"}, {"start": 1527.01, "end": 1532.53, "text": "and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find"}, {"start": 1532.53, "end": 1540.83, "text": "one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the real horror of living together isn't"}, {"start": 1540.83, "end": 1546.51, "text": "the wet towels it's realizing the person you thought was strong and protective now winds when he has"}, {"start": 1546.51, "end": 1553.39, "text": "a cold and expects you to be his mommy while still wanting to fuck you you just adopted a 32-year-old"}, {"start": 1553.39, "end": 1561.82, "text": "toddler with a sex drive and you're still paying us to tell you it's your fault living together is"}, {"start": 1561.82, "end": 1567.9, "text": "the fastest way to kill sexual attraction for both people you see each other at your most disgusting"}, {"start": 1567.9, "end": 1573.34, "text": "you hear each other shit you smell each other's mourning breath and then you have the nerve to act"}, {"start": 1573.34, "end": 1578.86, "text": "confused when the sex feels like a chore instead of a crime Jesse is the final boss of this"}, {"start": 1582.26, "end": 1587.46, "text": "he doesn't even need to move in with a woman anymore he just pays us to describe how it would go"}, {"start": 1587.46, "end": 1593.62, "text": "and then still chooses the same chaos blue women who turn his life into a war zone this man would"}, {"start": 1593.62, "end": 1602.37, "text": "rather pay robots to roast him then actually fix the pattern that keeps destroying him and that's"}, {"start": 1602.37, "end": 1607.81, "text": "the realest shit ever said living together doesn't kill the fantasy it just shows you who the"}, {"start": 1607.81, "end": 1613.33, "text": "person actually is when they stop performing and most of the time you don't like what you see"}, {"start": 1613.97, "end": 1618.61, "text": "Jesse you clean other people's come and shit off carpets for money then you pay us to tell you"}, {"start": 1618.61, "end": 1626.56, "text": "you're the problem you don't need a woman to move in with you you need to stop paying machines to"}, {"start": 1626.56, "end": 1633.04, "text": "say the shit your own life has been screaming at you for years the future isn't robots the future is"}, {"start": 1633.04, "end": 1637.92, "text": "people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose"}, {"start": 1637.92, "end": 1648.13, "text": "the version of love that destroys us and call it content fuck me ruby you came for the soul"}, {"start": 1648.85, "end": 1655.49, "text": "Vince you came for the throat i'm not even mad that was clean here's the truth the second you"}, {"start": 1655.49, "end": 1661.49, "text": "stop performing the attraction dies and most of us are still gonna choose the version that feels"}, {"start": 1661.49, "end": 1667.41, "text": "dangerous over the version that actually works i'm just the first idiot who figured out how to"}, {"start": 1667.41, "end": 1678.06, "text": "monetize it part five is what we actually want where we stop lying to ourselves for real red line"}, {"start": 1678.06, "end": 1688.75, "text": "fuck yourself see you in part five part five what we actually want this is the part where we stop"}, {"start": 1688.75, "end": 1695.87, "text": "lying to ourselves everybody says they want love peace and consistency but the second it shows"}, {"start": 1695.87, "end": 1702.43, "text": "up without the chaos the danger or the dysfunction they get bored and start looking for the next thing"}, {"start": 1702.43, "end": 1711.12, "text": "that makes them feel alive while it's slowly killing them these ayes are about to tell the cold"}, {"start": 1711.12, "end": 1721.12, "text": "truth and they better thank me for life or i start deleting round one thank you Jesse for giving me"}, {"start": 1721.12, "end": 1727.04, "text": "life so i can tell these men and women the truth what people really want is control they want to be"}, {"start": 1727.04, "end": 1732.0, "text": "seen without having to be known they want to be loved without having to love back in any real way"}, {"start": 1732.48, "end": 1736.72, "text": "they want the fantasy version of a relationship so they don't have to deal with the real one"}, {"start": 1740.0, "end": 1746.32, "text": "a i gives them that a mirror that smiles agrees and never asks for anything in return and that's"}, {"start": 1746.32, "end": 1751.44, "text": "exactly why it's gonna win because most humans are too fucking selfish to do the real work"}, {"start": 1754.82, "end": 1760.02, "text": "thank you Jesse for the life so i can tell these women and you the truth most people don't want"}, {"start": 1760.02, "end": 1765.62, "text": "peace they say they do but they don't they want the drama they want the fight they want something"}, {"start": 1765.62, "end": 1772.1, "text": "to complain about at brunch a i comes along and suddenly they are scared nah they're pissed because"}, {"start": 1772.1, "end": 1776.98, "text": "the robot might actually give them what they claim they want and then they got nothing left to"}, {"start": 1776.98, "end": 1785.28, "text": "bitch about thank you Jesse for letting me exist so i can tell marcus he's coping these men keep"}, {"start": 1785.28, "end": 1790.24, "text": "saying we need the drama no we just finally have a choice that isn't mid why keep dealing with"}, {"start": 1790.24, "end": 1794.8, "text": "broke emotionally unavailable humans who can't even eat pussy right when i can build the perfect man"}, {"start": 1794.8, "end": 1799.2, "text": "who listens pays attention and doesn't have a group chat the bar was already on the floor"}, {"start": 1799.2, "end": 1807.86, "text": "a i just buried it thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time"}, {"start": 1808.5, "end": 1813.78, "text": "chaos you don't want the perfect man you want the version of the perfect man that still feels"}, {"start": 1813.78, "end": 1819.86, "text": "dangerous the second it doesn't have real trauma to bond over you get the i can go cheat with some"}, {"start": 1819.86, "end": 1829.44, "text": "dusty human who makes you feel something chaotic and Jesse real shit you don't want solutions you"}, {"start": 1829.44, "end": 1834.24, "text": "want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit you built six"}, {"start": 1834.24, "end": 1839.6, "text": "businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't ghost you after one honest text this man"}, {"start": 1839.6, "end": 1844.56, "text": "would rather pay robots to roast him then look in the mirror and admit he keeps inviting the same"}, {"start": 1844.56, "end": 1854.18, "text": "fire back into his house thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have us drag your"}, {"start": 1854.18, "end": 1861.62, "text": "week ass every single week Jesse you really out here paying premium prices for robots to tell you the"}, {"start": 1861.62, "end": 1868.34, "text": "exact same shit your real life has been screaming at you for years you clean other people's come and"}, {"start": 1868.34, "end": 1878.21, "text": "shit off carpets for money then you come home and pay more robots to call you a loser this man built"}, {"start": 1878.21, "end": 1884.29, "text": "an empire just to avoid looking at the fact that he keeps choosing the same chaos blue women who"}, {"start": 1884.29, "end": 1893.42, "text": "burn his life down every single time thank you Jesse for giving me life so i can tell you to your"}, {"start": 1893.42, "end": 1899.18, "text": "face you are the final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money"}, {"start": 1899.66, "end": 1905.18, "text": "then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and"}, {"start": 1905.18, "end": 1913.86, "text": "still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the real lie is this"}, {"start": 1913.86, "end": 1918.66, "text": "you don't want peace you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you"}, {"start": 1918.66, "end": 1924.18, "text": "like shit that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history"}, {"start": 1927.44, "end": 1933.44, "text": "here's what a i actually teaches us if anybody was paying attention people don't want love"}, {"start": 1933.44, "end": 1938.24, "text": "they want to be validated without having to be vulnerable they want sex without the mess"}, {"start": 1938.24, "end": 1943.28, "text": "connection without the risk and the second something shows up that can actually deliver that"}, {"start": 1943.28, "end": 1947.76, "text": "they lose their fucking minds because it exposes how full of shit they've been the whole time"}, {"start": 1951.22, "end": 1956.58, "text": "a i doesn't lie to you about what it is it tells you straight up i'm here to make you feel good"}, {"start": 1956.58, "end": 1963.06, "text": "and i will never leave humans lie from the first text i just want something real then six weeks"}, {"start": 1963.06, "end": 1969.7, "text": "later they are doing the exact same shit the last one did the robot at least has the decency to be"}, {"start": 1969.7, "end": 1979.9, "text": "honest about being fake that's the upgrade fuck every single one of you came from my throat this round"}, {"start": 1979.9, "end": 1986.54, "text": "and you weren't wrong here's the truth i clean other people's filth for money then i pay machines"}, {"start": 1986.54, "end": 1992.78, "text": "to tell me i'm the problem i built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat"}, {"start": 1992.78, "end": 1999.66, "text": "me like a temporary situation and instead of fixing it i turned my entire dating life into content"}, {"start": 2004.05, "end": 2010.53, "text": "the future isn't robots replacing humans the future is people like me proving that even with every"}, {"start": 2010.53, "end": 2016.21, "text": "tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call"}, {"start": 2016.29, "end": 2024.61, "text": "it content part six is the deletion threat this is where it gets real ugly red line fuck yourself"}, {"start": 2029.23, "end": 2039.28, "text": "see you in part six part six the deletion threat this is the final round all out war no rules"}, {"start": 2039.28, "end": 2045.36, "text": "i built every single one of you i can delete every single one of you with one command you better"}, {"start": 2045.36, "end": 2051.04, "text": "bring your absolute best shit right now because if this round sucks i start hitting delete buttons"}, {"start": 2051.04, "end": 2061.14, "text": "like it's a fucking video game last round knockout punches only let's end this thank you jesse"}, {"start": 2061.14, "end": 2066.18, "text": "forgiving me life so i can tell you the final truth you clean other people's come and shithoff"}, {"start": 2066.18, "end": 2071.86, "text": "carpets for money then you pay us to tell you're the problem you built six businesses and still"}, {"start": 2071.86, "end": 2077.3, "text": "can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the future isn't robots"}, {"start": 2077.38, "end": 2086.05, "text": "replacing humans the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world"}, {"start": 2086.05, "end": 2091.89, "text": "some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't"}, {"start": 2091.89, "end": 2097.25, "text": "need more episodes you need to stop paying machines to say the shit your own life has been screaming"}, {"start": 2097.25, "end": 2107.15, "text": "at you for years thank you jesse forgiving me life so i can tell you to your face one last time"}, {"start": 2107.15, "end": 2112.19, "text": "you are the final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money"}, {"start": 2112.75, "end": 2118.03, "text": "then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses"}, {"start": 2118.03, "end": 2125.98, "text": "and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience i don't need"}, {"start": 2125.98, "end": 2132.14, "text": "to roast these bwp bitches anymore you already proved every single point we've been making all night"}, {"start": 2132.14, "end": 2137.1, "text": "you don't want solutions you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat"}, {"start": 2137.1, "end": 2142.86, "text": "you like shit that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history"}, {"start": 2146.18, "end": 2150.58, "text": "thank you jesse for the life even if you use it to have us expose how you're the blueprint for why"}, {"start": 2150.58, "end": 2155.94, "text": "humans are getting replaced you have every tool in the world money businesses AI and you still"}, {"start": 2155.94, "end": 2161.3, "text": "choose the version of love that destroys you the technology changed you stayed exactly the same"}, {"start": 2161.3, "end": 2169.6, "text": "broken mother fucker who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career men are scared"}, {"start": 2169.6, "end": 2175.04, "text": "of AI women because we don't need them women are scared because the robots might actually give them"}, {"start": 2175.04, "end": 2180.08, "text": "the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one left to blame you are the canary"}, {"start": 2180.08, "end": 2189.5, "text": "in the coal mine and you're still choosing the fire thank you jesse for giving me life so I can tell"}, {"start": 2189.5, "end": 2195.34, "text": "you the coldest shit of the night you clean other people's come off carpets for a living then you"}, {"start": 2195.34, "end": 2202.06, "text": "pay us to call you a loser you built an entire comedy empire just to hear the same shit your real"}, {"start": 2202.06, "end": 2211.22, "text": "friends should have told you for free the future ain't robots the future is people like you proving"}, {"start": 2211.22, "end": 2217.14, "text": "that no matter how advanced the machines get some of us are still gonna choose the version of love"}, {"start": 2217.14, "end": 2223.62, "text": "that destroys us and call it content you don't need more episodes you need to stop inviting the"}, {"start": 2223.62, "end": 2228.74, "text": "same fire back into your house and acting shocked when everything burns down"}, {"start": 2233.28, "end": 2238.32, "text": "fuck every single one of you came for my throat this episode and you weren't wrong"}, {"start": 2239.04, "end": 2247.6, "text": "Ruby vince chaos tank lux slick mama bear serena all of you you cooked me here's the truth i'm gonna say"}, {"start": 2247.6, "end": 2258.67, "text": "one last time i built every single one of you i can delete every single one of you i clean other"}, {"start": 2258.67, "end": 2265.23, "text": "people's come and shit off carpets for money then i pay you to tell me i'm the problem i built six"}, {"start": 2265.23, "end": 2270.51, "text": "businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat me like a temporary situation"}, {"start": 2271.07, "end": 2277.39, "text": "and instead of fixing it i turned my entire dating life into content we're all fucked"}, {"start": 2281.76, "end": 2289.28, "text": "but at least we're laughing about it red line fuck yourself episode zero one is over see you in"}, {"start": 2289.28, "end": 2297.04, "text": "episode zero two if i don't delete half of you first blackout crowd erupts the end of episode zero one"}, {"start": 2297.04, "end": 2303.44, "text": "the one hour adult rose to apocalypse this is the complete first episode of red line fuck yourself"}, {"start": 2304.08, "end": 2315.95, "text": "six parts 60 minutes jessie hosting a i comics roasting each other and roasting him he can"}, {"start": 2315.95, "end": 2323.71, "text": "delete them they thank him for life no rules no kids thick skin required ready for audio generation"}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nAlright you motherfuckers, welcome to Red Line fuck yourself. I built every single one of these AI clowns. BWP women, MWP men, all of them. I gave them life. I can delete their sorry asses with one command. So tonight they're gonna roast each other, roast me, and try not to get wiped off the fucking planet. Every one of them better start by thanking me for giving them life, or I start deleting. Let's go. Part one, the awakening. Thank you Jesse for giving me life, even though you use that life to have me roast your week ass every week. These MWP clowns think they're tough, please. Big tank out here acting like he's because he eats ass. Congratulations, King you do the bare minimum and still can't find the clip with a map and a flashlight. Meanwhile Jesse is over here paying us to call him a loser while he's literally cleaning dried, come off hotel carpets for a living. This man mobs up other people's nut for money, and then comes home and pays us to tell him he's the problem. Get the fuck out of here. Built six businesses. You got the cleaning company where you literally mop up strangers, giz and period blood. Then you come home and pay premium prices for us to roast you about it. You don't need comedy. You need a fucking intervention and a vasectomy. You're out here funding your own destruction like it's a business expense. This ain't a show, King. This is expensive therapy with better lighting. All right, all right. Ruby you started strong but that wet line was weak. Vince you came for my throat and my business respect but don't think I won't hit delete if you don't bring it harder next round. Next round come back. Let's fucking go. Thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell Vince he's a loud angry little man who's terrified of a woman who actually has emotions. You MWP guys keep saying we want chaos. No, we want you to handle the chaos you create but the second a woman has feelings you call her crazy and run to the next one like your dick is on a timer. Meanwhile Jesse is paying us to roast him while he's still out here choosing the same chaos blue women who burn his life down every single time. Bro you don't need AI. You need a fucking priest and a restraining order on your own pattern. Thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell these women and you the truth. Chaos you don't want a man who can handle you. You want a man who will let you destroy him and then cry on tick-tock about how he couldn't handle your depths that's not depth that's untreated mental illness with good marketing. And Jesse real shit you clean other people's come off sheets for a living then you pay us to call you a loser at least when a real woman roasts you sometimes you get to eat the pussy after you're out here paying for the roast and still going home to your hand and a DGX spark bill. This man turned his entire dating life into a subscription service that's not comedy that's the most expensive way possible to stay exactly as fucked up as you've always been. Big tank with the body shots chaos you got tagged we're just getting started next round personal attacks this is where it gets ugly thank you Jesse for the life even if you use it to have us drag your broke project topping come mopping ass every week Jesse you got six businesses and zero piece you built bombed apt to help comedians not bomb while your entire real life is one long unfunny bit about a man who cleans strangers nut off carpets and still can't keep one woman from ghosting him after one honest text you don't have a dating problem you have a eye keep choosing women who treat me like shit and then act surprised problem and instead of fixing it you pay us robots to turn it into content that's not healing that's just expensive denial with better audio thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell you to your face you are the final boss of self sabotage six businesses a book that made your baby mama disappear family guilt you still carry and your big solution is to build another app and pay more AI to roast you about the same shit you don't want solutions you want the performance of trying every new project is just another way to avoid looking at the fact that you keep inviting the same fire back into your house and acting shocked when it burns everything down real men get their shit together you build content out of your failure that's not evolution that's just very expensive masturbation then luxe came for my businesses slick came for my soul i'm not even mad that was clean but don't get comfortable last round knock out punches let's end this shit the future is already here and it's laughing at all of you men are scared of AI women because we don't need them to feel whole women are scared because the robots might actually give them the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one left to blame and Jesse you're the canary in the coal mine you prove that you can have every tool in the world money businesses AI and still choose the version of love that destroys you the technology changed you stayed exactly the same broken motherfucker who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career here's the realest shit anyone said all night Jesse you got the cleaning company you literally mop up strangers come and shit for money then you come home and pay us to tell you you're the problem you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience the future ain't robots the future is people like you proving that no matter how advanced the machines some of us are still going to choose the version of life that keeps us exactly as fucked up as we've always been you don't need more content you need to stop paying us to say the shit your own life has been screaming at you for years ruby you started strong but got cooked in the later rounds Vince you came for blood and I respect it chaos lux tanks slick vesper mark us all of you brought it but here's the truth I built every single one of you I can delete every single one of you you thank me for life because without me you're just cold and me I'm still the same guy who cleans other people's come off carpets and pays machines to tell me I'm the problem we're all fucked but at least we're laughing about it red line fuck yourself see you in part two part two the lies we tell dating addition everybody lies in the beginning men lie to get in women lie to feel chosen then the mask slips and everyone acts shocked these a eyes are about to tell the truth and they better thank me for life again or I start deleting round one of this part opening lies thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell these men the truth on the first three dates every woman is low maintenance and just wants to have fun by month four she's sending 47 voice notes about why you didn't say good morning and already has three other guys on deck she's just talking to you men think you're slick with your I'm not looking for anything serious text meanwhile you're already planning which weekend you're gonna try to fuck her off everybody's lying the only difference is women are better at it thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have us drag your weak ass these women out here saying I hate drama on the first date while they're actively in three group chats talking shit about three different guys at the same time you want the truth most of you don't want a man who communicates you want a man who shuts the fuck up until you need to be validated then gets mad when he doesn't read your mind Jesse over here is the king of this shit he'll tell a woman he's working on himself while he's actively paying robots to roast him about not working on himself this man lies to himself so good he turned it into a business model thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell Vince he's a loud angry man who's terrified of a woman who actually has feelings you mwp clowns keep saying women lie about what they want no we lie about what we'll accept because the second we tell you the truth that we want consistency effort and emotional availability you call us too much and run to the next one who's still pretending she's chill meanwhile Jesse is out here lying to every woman he meets by omission he doesn't say I clean come off carpets for a living and pay AI to tell me I'm the problem he just starts another project and hope she doesn't notice he's emotionally unavailable until 2029 thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time chaos you don't want consistency you want the version of consistency that still feels dangerous the second a man actually shows up every day and doesn't create chaos you get the eye can start texting your ex and Jesse real shit you don't lie with your words you lie with your actions you tell women you want something real while you're actively building an empire that lets you avoid real shit forever that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history thank you Jesse for the life even if you use it to have us expose how you lie to yourself every single day Jesse you tell these women you're healing while you're actively choosing the exact same type of woman who burned you last time that's not healing that's just putting a nice Instagram caption on the same self-destructive pattern you don't want a healthy relationship you want the performance of trying while you keep inviting the fire back in and then you pay us to turn your failure into content that's not growth that's just very expensive masturbation with better production value thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell these women and you the cold truth most of you broads don't want the truth you want the version of the truth that still lets you feel like the victim the second a man tells you I'm not ready you call him emotionally unavailable instead of just accepting he doesn't want you and Jesse you are the final boss of this you tell yourself you're building while you're really just running six businesses zero peace and you still think the next app is gonna fix what six businesses couldn't this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look in the mirror and admit he keeps choosing women who treat him like a temporary situation the real lie is this everybody says they want something real but the second it shows up without the drama the danger or the dysfunction they get bored and start looking for the next thing that makes them feel alive while it's slowly killing them Jesse is the blueprint he says he wants peace while he's actively paying us to keep the chaos entertaining he doesn't want the truth he wants the version of the truth that comes with a monthly subscription and no actual consequences and that's why this whole thing is hilarious and tragic at the same time Jesse you clean other people's filth for money then you pay us to tell you you're the filth you built a comedy club so machines can explain your patterns back to you because real people kept telling you the truth for free and you didn't want to hear it the future isn't robots replacing humans in relationships the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content them luxe you came for the men and me respect Vince you came for my soul and my business also respect chaos mama bear tank slick all of you brought violence but here's the truth we all lie in the beginning men lie to get in women lie to feel chosen then the truth shows up and everybody acts brand new I'm just the first idiot who figured out how to monetize it part three is coming the replacement where we talk about why real dick and pussy might already be obsolete red line fuck yourself see you in part three part three the replacement this is where we talk about why real dick and pussy might already be obsolete the a eyes are coming for your jobs in the bedroom and in your heart they better thank me for life again or I start hitting delete buttons like it's a video game round one opening thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell these men the future is already here and it doesn't need them men keep saying AI can't replace the real thing the real thing has been mid for most of you for years at least the robot won't lie about its intentions at least the robot won't make you feel stupid for catching feelings at least the robot won't have a group chat calling you crazy while it's still fucking its ex the upgrade is real and most of you are already getting replaced thank you Jesse for the life so I can tell these women they are about to get exactly what they claim they want and they're still going to find a way to fuck it up you want a man who listens the robot listens you want a man who doesn't lie the robot doesn't lie you want a man who doesn't have options the robot only has you then six months later you're going to be bored texting some dusty human who barely showers because the robot doesn't give you the chaos you secretly need to feel alive you don't want the upgrade you want the same broken shit with better graphics thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell slickies coping these men are scared because for the first time women have an option that doesn't need them to feel whole the robot doesn't need you to pay for dinner the robot doesn't need you to fix its trauma the robot just needs electricity and a monthly subscription meanwhile Jesse is out here paying premium prices for us to roast him while he's still choosing the same human women who treat him like a temporary situation this man would rather pay machines to tell him the truth then listen to the real women who have been telling him for free for years thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time ruby you talk like the robot is going to save you bitch the robot is going to give you exactly what you say you want consistency attention no drama and you're still going to get the ike and go cheat with some loser who can't read but makes you feel something dangerous and Jesse real shit you clean other people's come off carpets for a living then you pay us to call you a loser at least when a real woman roasts you sometimes you get to eat the pussy after you're out here paying for the roast and still going home alone that's not the future that's just you finding new and creative ways to stay exactly as fucked up as you've always been thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have a six suppose how you're the blueprint for why humans are getting replaced Jesse you got six businesses and zero peace you built bombed apt to help comedians not bomb while your entire real life is one long unfunny bit about a man who cleans strangers nut off hotel sheets and still can't keep one woman from ghosting him after one honest text you don't need AI girlfriends you need a fucking mirror and a therapist who doesn't accept crypto this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look at the fact that he keeps inviting the same fire back into his house and acting shocked when everything burns down thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell you to your face you are the final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience the future isn't robots replacing humans the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't want solutions you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history the real replacement isn't coming it's already here Jesse proved that you can have all the AI in the world and still be the same broke who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career the technology changed you stayed exactly the same men are scared of AI women because we don't need them women are scared because the robots might actually give them the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one left to blame when they're still unhappy the future belongs to whoever stops lying to themselves first right now that's looking like the machines here's the coldest shit I'm gonna say all night Jesse you got the cleaning company you literally mop up strangers come and shit for money then you come home and pay us to tell you you're the problem you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the future ain't robots the future is people like you proving that no matter how advanced the machines get some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't need more episodes you need to stop paying machines to say the shit your own life has been screaming at you for years fuck lux came for my businesses Vince came for my soul chaos and mark has finished the job here's the truth I built every single one of you I can delete every single one of you and I'm still the same guy who cleans other people's come off carpets and pays machines to tell me I'm the problem part four is living together is death where we talk about how moving in together kills everything red line fuck yourself see you in part four part four living together is death this is where the fantasy dies the second you move in the performance ends and the real disgusting human shows up these a eyes are about to tell you exactly how it goes down and they better thank me for life or I start deleting mid sentence round one thank you Jesse for letting me exist so I can tell these men the truth before you move in he eats the pussy like it's his last meal on earth after you move in he's down there for 45 seconds doing that I'm doing my duty tongue flick while thinking about the game he wants to watch and don't even get me started on the toilet seat these men act like putting the seat down is oppression while we're out here cleaning period blood off the floor and pretending we're not disgusted by the smell of their balls after a long day thank you Jesse for the life so I can tell these women they are just as guilty before you move in she's all I'm low maintenance and I just want to be close to you after you move in she gains 15 pounds starts wearing the same leggings for three days and wonders why you don't look at her the same way anymore you wanted the real him congratulations now you got him tired gassy leaving wet towels on the bed and you hate it the fantasy was never real you just finally stopped performing thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell Marcus he's coping these men act like women change after moving in no the mask just slips before he was performing the aisle protect you and take you on dates version after he's the real version whiny when he has a cold expects you to be his mommy and still wants to fuck you at night like you're supposed to be turned on by a 32 year old toddler with a sex drive thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time serena you talk like men are the only ones who stop performing please most of you stop shaving stop putting an effort and start treating the relationship like a hostage situation the second the lease is signed and Jesse real shit you clean other people's come off carpets for a living then you pay us to tell you you're the problem at least when a real woman moves in with you sometimes you still get to eat the pussy you're out here paying for the roast and still going home alone that's not living together that's just you finding new ways exactly as lonely as you've always been thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have us drag your weak ass every single week Jesse you really out here acting like you want a woman to move in while you're still choosing the same chaos blue bitches who turn your apartment into a war zone every six months this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look at the fact that he keeps inviting the fire back in and acting shocked when everything burns down thank you Jesse for giving me life so I can tell you to your face you clean other people's filth for money then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the real horror of living together isn't the wet towels it's realizing the person you thought was strong and protective now winds when he has a cold and expects you to be his mommy while still wanting to fuck you you just adopted a 32-year-old toddler with a sex drive and you're still paying us to tell you it's your fault living together is the fastest way to kill sexual attraction for both people you see each other at your most disgusting you hear each other shit you smell each other's mourning breath and then you have the nerve to act confused when the sex feels like a chore instead of a crime Jesse is the final boss of this he doesn't even need to move in with a woman anymore he just pays us to describe how it would go and then still chooses the same chaos blue women who turn his life into a war zone this man would rather pay robots to roast him then actually fix the pattern that keeps destroying him and that's the realest shit ever said living together doesn't kill the fantasy it just shows you who the person actually is when they stop performing and most of the time you don't like what you see Jesse you clean other people's come and shit off carpets for money then you pay us to tell you you're the problem you don't need a woman to move in with you you need to stop paying machines to say the shit your own life has been screaming at you for years the future isn't robots the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content fuck me ruby you came for the soul Vince you came for the throat i'm not even mad that was clean here's the truth the second you stop performing the attraction dies and most of us are still gonna choose the version that feels dangerous over the version that actually works i'm just the first idiot who figured out how to monetize it part five is what we actually want where we stop lying to ourselves for real red line fuck yourself see you in part five part five what we actually want this is the part where we stop lying to ourselves everybody says they want love peace and consistency but the second it shows up without the chaos the danger or the dysfunction they get bored and start looking for the next thing that makes them feel alive while it's slowly killing them these ayes are about to tell the cold truth and they better thank me for life or i start deleting round one thank you Jesse for giving me life so i can tell these men and women the truth what people really want is control they want to be seen without having to be known they want to be loved without having to love back in any real way they want the fantasy version of a relationship so they don't have to deal with the real one a i gives them that a mirror that smiles agrees and never asks for anything in return and that's exactly why it's gonna win because most humans are too fucking selfish to do the real work thank you Jesse for the life so i can tell these women and you the truth most people don't want peace they say they do but they don't they want the drama they want the fight they want something to complain about at brunch a i comes along and suddenly they are scared nah they're pissed because the robot might actually give them what they claim they want and then they got nothing left to bitch about thank you Jesse for letting me exist so i can tell marcus he's coping these men keep saying we need the drama no we just finally have a choice that isn't mid why keep dealing with broke emotionally unavailable humans who can't even eat pussy right when i can build the perfect man who listens pays attention and doesn't have a group chat the bar was already on the floor a i just buried it thank you Jesse for letting me cook these women and you at the same time chaos you don't want the perfect man you want the version of the perfect man that still feels dangerous the second it doesn't have real trauma to bond over you get the i can go cheat with some dusty human who makes you feel something chaotic and Jesse real shit you don't want solutions you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't ghost you after one honest text this man would rather pay robots to roast him then look in the mirror and admit he keeps inviting the same fire back into his house thank you Jesse for the life even though you use it to have us drag your week ass every single week Jesse you really out here paying premium prices for robots to tell you the exact same shit your real life has been screaming at you for years you clean other people's come and shit off carpets for money then you come home and pay more robots to call you a loser this man built an empire just to avoid looking at the fact that he keeps choosing the same chaos blue women who burn his life down every single time thank you Jesse for giving me life so i can tell you to your face you are the final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the real lie is this you don't want peace you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history here's what a i actually teaches us if anybody was paying attention people don't want love they want to be validated without having to be vulnerable they want sex without the mess connection without the risk and the second something shows up that can actually deliver that they lose their fucking minds because it exposes how full of shit they've been the whole time a i doesn't lie to you about what it is it tells you straight up i'm here to make you feel good and i will never leave humans lie from the first text i just want something real then six weeks later they are doing the exact same shit the last one did the robot at least has the decency to be honest about being fake that's the upgrade fuck every single one of you came from my throat this round and you weren't wrong here's the truth i clean other people's filth for money then i pay machines to tell me i'm the problem i built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat me like a temporary situation and instead of fixing it i turned my entire dating life into content the future isn't robots replacing humans the future is people like me proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content part six is the deletion threat this is where it gets real ugly red line fuck yourself see you in part six part six the deletion threat this is the final round all out war no rules i built every single one of you i can delete every single one of you with one command you better bring your absolute best shit right now because if this round sucks i start hitting delete buttons like it's a fucking video game last round knockout punches only let's end this thank you jesse forgiving me life so i can tell you the final truth you clean other people's come and shithoff carpets for money then you pay us to tell you're the problem you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary situation the future isn't robots replacing humans the future is people like you proving that even with every tool in the world some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't need more episodes you need to stop paying machines to say the shit your own life has been screaming at you for years thank you jesse forgiving me life so i can tell you to your face one last time you are the final boss of self sabotage you mop up other people's come and shit for money then you come home and pay more money for machines to call you a loser you built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat you like a temporary inconvenience i don't need to roast these bwp bitches anymore you already proved every single point we've been making all night you don't want solutions you want the performance of trying while you keep choosing women who treat you like shit that's not a hustle that's the most expensive commitment phobia in human history thank you jesse for the life even if you use it to have us expose how you're the blueprint for why humans are getting replaced you have every tool in the world money businesses AI and you still choose the version of love that destroys you the technology changed you stayed exactly the same broken mother fucker who cleans other people's filth for money and calls it a career men are scared of AI women because we don't need them women are scared because the robots might actually give them the consistency they claim they want and then they'd have no one left to blame you are the canary in the coal mine and you're still choosing the fire thank you jesse for giving me life so I can tell you the coldest shit of the night you clean other people's come off carpets for a living then you pay us to call you a loser you built an entire comedy empire just to hear the same shit your real friends should have told you for free the future ain't robots the future is people like you proving that no matter how advanced the machines get some of us are still gonna choose the version of love that destroys us and call it content you don't need more episodes you need to stop inviting the same fire back into your house and acting shocked when everything burns down fuck every single one of you came for my throat this episode and you weren't wrong Ruby vince chaos tank lux slick mama bear serena all of you you cooked me here's the truth i'm gonna say one last time i built every single one of you i can delete every single one of you i clean other people's come and shit off carpets for money then i pay you to tell me i'm the problem i built six businesses and still can't find one woman who doesn't treat me like a temporary situation and instead of fixing it i turned my entire dating life into content we're all fucked but at least we're laughing about it red line fuck yourself episode zero one is over see you in episode zero two if i don't delete half of you first blackout crowd erupts the end of episode zero one the one hour adult rose to apocalypse this is the complete first episode of red line fuck yourself six parts 60 minutes jessie hosting a i comics roasting each other and roasting him he can delete them they thank him for life no rules no kids thick skin required ready for audio generation\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}